One year ago today, I was standing amidst strangers in a huge field with a fresh tent and sweaty palms. Training camp for the World Race had officially begun. The crazy unknown that I had counted down days for, was finally here. Am I going to fit in? Do I have the right gear? Oh please don’t make me run up that hill with my pack! Walking to the chapel for the first meeting of camp, surrounded by the forty people I would spend the next year with, my heart was overwhelmed with excitement.
We spent the next week making memories by eating extremely limited portions of cultural foods, worshiping and praying, laughing at the nightly bonfire, and jumping into a freezing pond. Despite the week of high energy and hyped up activities, I felt sidelined and reclusive, nervous of my first impression and if I would be liked and accepted. On our final night of training camp, we had a pretty thrilling dance party but my dancing has never been that graceful, and I still didn’t know these people very well. We all said goodbye the next morning as we carried our memories, first impressions and judgments home with us, where we would spend the next two months preparing for the start of the Race.
I remember sitting in my room at school, writing my last paper before graduating, distracted by the fear that I would not belong with these new people that I was leaving everything comfortable behind for. Time spent with friends increased my assurance of these thoughts. I will never feel as comfortable with my World Race friends as I do with this friend. As each tearful goodbye came and went, I couldn’t help feeling like I had the lower hand of a bad trade.
I can just see God up in the heaven rolling his eyes at me whispering to my hear, Just wait. I never could have imagined how these strangers, these people who I gave so little credit to, became closer than family.
Throughout the last year of crazy life with these forty people, I have learned more about what friendship, accountability and sacrifice looks like, than I ever thought possible. It did not happen quickly, in fact there were times in month two and three that I still felt pretty alone. But over time, as we learned to trust one another with our hearts and with our thoughts, we gained an irreplaceable gift, LOVE.
I have cried with this family, sharing lessons learned and past mistakes while allowing myself to be more transparent than I ever was at home. I have laughed harder at stupid things and lack of sleep while not feeling embarrassed. I have shown my selfish side, my cranky morning attitudes, and my fear of rejection, only to be met with compassionate love in return.
Like all families, this one isn’t perfect. We have our days where living together in one house with no privacy, or thirty hour bus rides, highlight our more sibling like interactions. The nature of our squad though, is deeper than our daily exchanges with one another. Our commitment to this family is a promise to love deeper, to build up what is good while calling out what is wrong, and to rejoice together when we are blessed by His presence among us.
To all of my beautiful family members on B-squad, those still serving with us and those who returned home, I love you and cherish every interaction with you. You have taught me about myself while demonstrating the kind of friendship that will pave my future. Thank you for not shying away from speaking life into me when I stumble and encouraging me to run after Him daily. As we celebrate our one year anniversary today, I am confident that this family will continue on for years to come as we seek His Face together. I love you.
-Your sister Abby
