Yesterday, my team and I took the kids from the orphanage to the beach. Even though Masiphumelele is only about 6 miles from the beach, for most of the kids it was the first time seeing it! What a beautiful sight watching over twenty of the poorest kids in the area, in nothing but their ripped underwear, running towards the waves in fearless abandon. We laughed as they splashed water on us and used cut up 2-liter coke bottles as shovels and buckets in the sand. I couldn’t help but notice that the smiles on these children were the biggest I’ve seen since we arrived here three weeks ago.
I was caught up in the moment of ocean bliss that it took me a while to notice the wealthy vacationers taking pictures and videos of the children we were with. They laughed and watched in curiosity as these dirty children with uncombed hair in underclothes polluted their peaceful morning on the beach. A woman came up to me and asked what we were doing and where the children were from. I explained about Masiphumelele and how most of these children were HIV positive and some were orphaned. The women gave an empathetic face and said that it was sad and walked away. She sat back down in her beach chair and continued taking pictures.
When the children were getting ready to leave the beach, we brought them to an outdoor shower and lined them up one by one. I was keeping them entertained while they waited for their turn to shower when that same lady walked up. She said “I want you to know that this is very inconvenient for people who are on vacation to wait after all these children…(for the shower).” I nodded my head and held my tongue.
How easy it is as a privileged and wealthy individual to say “oh wow something should be done about the injustices of the world” but at the first sign of inconvenience to be self centered and displeased. I was so frustrated with that lady at the beach until today I became that lady.
This morning, my computer got stepped on and the screen broke. I panicked that my one piece of technology that was my link to back home and my voice to family and friends was now gone. My teammate and I left immediately to go and try to see if it could get fixed. After a couple conversations with people around the Cape, it was decided that the computer could not be fixed anywhere but America.
I was frustrated and inconvenienced and in that, I lost my joy and I became shut down towards my team. I sat in self pity and even thought to myself that I would not enjoy the trip as much anymore because of this. I resented the culture here that could not help me with the repair. How self centered and arrogant my attitude was.
I am amidst people who barely survive day to day. People who miss meals so they can feed orphans on the street or medical bills for their children. People who not only don’t have computers but have never touched one in their life. But these things did not cross my mind. I did not care as I sat in a coffee shop feeling sorry for myself.
Then God reminded me of the song that the kids sing here at the orphanage before they eat lunch. In english they sing, “Dear father, dear father, we thank you for the many blessings.” If children who live with nothing can sing thanks for Jesus, surely I can as well.
I am so thankful for the reminder that God gave to me today that this trip is not about me. It is not about my comfort or my security in things. This trip is about surrender and sacrifice. And if it took me losing my computer to realize that, then praise the Lord.
Abby- learning how to be grateful in every situation.
