As I try to find my voice as a blogger, I have found that it is much easier to tell someone else’s story than attempt to articulate the convictions and celebrations that I experience. This week though, I feel led to just share what has been happening in my heart.
The Dominican Republic handed me what seemed like the perfect World Race month on a silver platter. We had great community, personal beds and a grocery store in walking distance with things like Pillsbury cake frosting and Captain Crunch. Ministry seemed like it was made for me. Sweet pastors opened their hearts and homes as we served alongside them. I played with precious kids, shared the gospel door to door and held the hands of the elderly.
Team Relentless in the Dominican Republic
My journal entries were filled with praise to the Lord for knowing my heart so intimately. He gave me the desire to go and serve, and he was fulfilling that desire. The full weight of his guidance and blessings hit me like never before as I shared life through service.
The transition to Haiti brought challenge. I came from roaming a city that I love to being driven to and from ministry each day on a bus. As I long to meet shop owners and moms and teachers, I find myself lost on a construction site, completely out of my element.
Back at our beautiful beachside home, we are served three meals a day. There is not an opportunity to venture out into the city on our own or plan a meal. Breakfast is served at 6:30, and we do not know what we will be doing on any given day until that morning.
I want to go on a walk. Explore the market. Talk to the street vendors. Call my mom and sister. I desire to do these things that seem basic and simple, but with my current circumstances, they just aren’t feasible.
The open market in Haiti
After the first week in this beautifully broken country, I felt like I barely knew the people or cultural norms. I had the flow of the concrete bucket brigade down, but my relational spirit felt stifled.
During just another conversation over a meal of bread and rice, as I was offering to pay almost any price for a fresh smoothie, I was struck by my sense of entitlement.
I am about to enter training camp territory here. As the staff at AIM prepared us for the World Race, we were asked to let go of everything that we feel entitled to. Hot water. Communication with home. Starbucks. On a fall night in Georgia, I promised to let go of these things, whatever they might be.
Fast forward to month two of the Race, and where am I? I’m complaining about lack of relational ministry and freedom. I’m striking deals with people who brought cookies from the Dominican Republic. I’m daydreaming about free wifi and missing the gifts that are sitting all around me.
Philippians 4:11-13
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
After being led to this passage, all I could think was, Hey Paul, I want to know that secret.Thankfully, the Lord began to work in changing my mindset. Instead of being frustrated by my lack of Haitian relationships, I would soak up time with squad mates. When I was not expecting it, the ice cold coke was a wonderful gift. When I stopped worrying about which building I would be working on, I was able to be pleasantly surprised with a mountainous hike/break from ministry one day.
Squad Lovin'
Had I not received coke or a beautiful hike, the past two weeks I have experienced would have been just as wonderful. I am learning to wake up with excitement for what the Lord has planned, knowing that his gifts are always better than any comforts in which I feel entitled.
New friend from our hike
Laundry on a mountainside
