Matthew 6:6
Oh, the effects a roof can have..
“But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” (ESV)
So, here in Matthew, Jesus was speaking to the crowds about the importance of legitimate prayer; he was warning them against praying deliberately in front of crowds as to get the attention and applause of men. Instead, he bid them to find a place alone to be with the Lord so that they wouldn't be tempted in that way. I like the way that The Message translates this verse, too:
“Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.” (The Message)
The other night I found myself blindly crawling up the stairs to the rooftop somewhere around one in the morning. All was quiet and I was the only person up in the complex that I knew of. Step after uneven step, I made it to the fifth floor which opens up to the glories of the open air. I inhaled the cool night, taking in the environment which was so different from the stuffy confines of the second floor where we normally slept. The breeze blew mellowly by as the stars hug dimly in the heavens. This was perfect. I felt the beginning satisfaction to the severe craving I had developed while in my room: I needed to get up and out; I needed to just get alone with God.
I looked at the terrace and knew that while it was nice, it was also not quite what I longed for. I surveyed the area only to reconfirm the desire that I had before setting foot on the stairs that lead up to this level: I just needed to be on the ledge of the roof. I climbed over the railing that fenced off the forth floor's laundry terrace and tiptoed across the I-beams that overlooked the city streets stories below. I reached the furthermost unfenced corner of the roof and took my seat. Yes, yes, one hundred times yes! I didn't realize exactly how much I missed the joys of my rooftop back at home. No noise but the great outdoors, no interruptions and no worries; it immediately became my sanctuary and there I was in my ideal quiet place once again.
Truly, though, it is not the location that brings the gratification, but it is the way in which I spend my time in such a place in the presence of God. True story: despite our time together, from time to time I still feel like I have no idea what to say in prayer. I let myself get carried away by checklist expectations and thoughts of what I “should” or “shouldn't” say. Sometimes I think about those anticipations so faintly, yet I still allow those kinds of thoughts to hold me back from just bringing my heart to the Lord. However, this time with feet comfortably dangling, I was there “as simply and as honestly as I could have managed.” I had no speeches prepared and no monologues priorly spun. I didn't worry- I didn't care. I was armed with everyday vocabulary and a restless heart which I brought wholly to his attention.
This is what it is to have a relationship. Relationships are raw and day to day, not prepackaged and nicely assembled with the attempt to save face. Is it not the honest pouring out of one into another? Is it not the prioritizing of another into one's day? It is giving and receiving. It is trusting and it is intentional. Knowing God is not a passive activity~ It is also not a set of rules and regulations that are to keep us bound in the operative chains of legalistic religion. Christ didn't die for us so that we would be enchained by dos and don'ts or that we could stuff him into some box with set limitations; he gave himself for us for the possibility of this relationship. We need only to be ourselves, sometimes by ourselves, just to be with him- no speeches required.
