The last few weeks have been the hardest of my life. And if I am being honest I was counting down the days until we were leaving our ministry once I found out we were going to a hotel Christmas night. Day dreaming about a night of peace , a night where I didn't get up feeling even more exhausted than when i laid down, a place with less distractions and more of Jesus.
This morning at worship, I had a glimpse of the Lord that I hadn't seen in a while. A joy that was not my own and a reminder of why I am here. That this trip is a gift… every single day, even the hard ones. A reminder that this is not about me, but about Him. A reminder that I am never going to get this moment back…and its my choice, so what am I going to do with it?
So in this crazy holiday season when we get so caught up in the doing and the buying and forget the being and the loving. Remember that each day is a gift, so what are you going to do with it?
I want to take a few moments to slow down, to recount the moments that have happened, to enjoy the ones that are happening and stop constantly searching for something more. In the chaos and the struggles I have forgotten some of the amazing things that God has done this month. I have been so caught up in my uncomfortableness and the hard days that I dwelled on them, and forgot the moments that God showed up in ways I couldn't have imagined.
Week one in the Philippines: We spent in the mountains of MalayBalay because of the Typhoon. After our 52 hour travel day, we had an excuse to sleep all day with the pouring rain , persistent winds, and power outage. (the Lord gave us the rest we needed). The next three days I fasted for my best friend, it was the first time I had ever done more than a one day fast and the first time that we did manual labor, perfect. We lifted 100 pound bags of dirt for 8 hours a day, three days in a few. (the Lord filled my famished body with His strength and loving words… I wasn't even hungry day 3). Four of us had shoes stolen right outside of our unlocked door (the Lord protected us and allowed us to abandon more). Saturday morning, we drove 1 hour, walked through a banana plantation, crossed two chest deep rivers, and walked over flattened corn fields. We shared the gospel with people who had never heard it before… in the middle of nowhere. (the Lord demonstrated the extent He loves his children and His deep pursuit of all of us).
Week two: Arrived at our ministry site unprepared, frustrated, and not feeling safe. We prayed and spoke scripture over our new home for over two hours. (the Lord's word was shared and covered a place full of darkness). Day 2, I had the worst attitude in the world and was wallowing in self pity until a sweet woman expressed her gratitude and disbelief that we would choose to spend Christmas here (the Lord gave me a necessary attitude adjustment and a heart to serve the people I was with). After a few days of hard ministry, exhaustion, and missing home we had a day off and I got a video of Kristyn and sweet 2 year old Katie wishing me a Merry Christmas. I watched it 20 times that day. (the Lord knew that I was missing people from home, and reminded me that I was loved, not forgotten, but also that He is all that I need).
Week three: We had a bible study for the women, and even though it was during dinner time, women we had never met came to hear and discuss the word of God. (the Lord showed us that our presence was making a difference even though some days it felt like we were doing nothing). We were picked up at 5:30 AM to go to a bible study with the church, we got to go inside a home , see a Christmas tree, and be loved on by a mother. (the Lord gave us the homeyness and hospitality that we needed to be refueled in our exhaustion).
Week four: Began with a wedding for 18 couples, we got to be photographers for two of the families that we had gotten to know and make a day that they had to share, special for them by printing our pictures. (the Lord reminded me that even when we feel we are lost in a crowd, He is loving us individually and doesn't forget). We went to a Christmas party at the church, had a gift exchange and played YL mixer games. (the Lord reminded me of a ministry that I love and that has helped bring me to this place). Just when everyone had reached their breaking points and 3 people were very sick, we got to stay in a hotel room, take a hot shower and sleep in a real bed. (the Lord will never give you more than you can handle, and He takes care of His children).
I wanted to share these moments to remind myself, and everyone else, that each day is a gift and you are never going to get it back. So slow down and count the blessings … even if they sometimes feel like a curse. Be thankful, and choose to love even when you have no strength left to give. Its in those moments that our Heavenly Father is glorified.
Each day is a gift, so what are you going to do with it?
