It's month 11, so that means the reminiscing has started full fledge among the September 2012 racers. My team went out for dessert the other night and found ourselves playing never have I ever World Race edition and laughing at how many things that we now think are normal, things that as soon as we get home people will look at us like we are absolutely insane, and lets be honest there is probably some truth in that.
So in honor of my sweet friends leaving for the race this July and for all of the squads about to go home at the end of the month: this blog is for you. If you are just beginning, you can fully expect these things to happen to you. If you are about to go home, as we are approaching reentry and the emotional roller coaster that brings: let's remember all of the amazing adventures we have been on this year and laugh at ourselves a bit.
You know you are on the World Race when…
-You haven't drank out of a faucet since you left America. That's also the last time that you had a salad worth eating, free refills, or drove a car.
-Walking into a grocery store that has real cheese and more than 4 aisles can almost bring you to tears.
-You hoard every napkin that you come in contact with like it is a lost treasure, you never know when you are going to need toilet paper.
-You say any combination or abbreviation of these words daily: Press in, choose in, feedback, team time, process, debrief and praise Jesus.
-You are thrilled to get a NEW outfit from the free pile at debrief, never mind the paint and mud stains, sun-faded patterns, and holes from various animals and/or adventures: it is wonderful and NEW.. new to you at least.
-When you actually do purchase any NEW article of clothing, all 55 other members of your squad comment because they too have your entire wardrobe memorized by month 2.
-One of your teammates compliments you on how great your hair looks today and you reply excitedly, thanks I washed it!! (most likely for the first time in a week). You also have competitions with yourself to see how long you can go without washing your hair and still get away with being in public.
-After you run, you wipe your body down with a few baby wipes, and deem yourself clean for another 3 days. I mean the water you would have poured over your head with a bucket for a shower is brown anyways.
-You say Christmas has come early, and legitimately mean it, every time you get to sleep on a bed, take a hot shower, or find a Recees peanut butter cup.
-If your clothes are clean, clean meaning they don't reek enough for the person 2 seats down on the bus to smell you or the mud and paint on them is almost dry, any combination of them is perfectly acceptable. Disclaimer– if they do smell, simply spray with travel-sized febreeze and continue wearing.
-You have to carry your water bottle around with you to brush your teeth with semi-sanitary water, in an attempt to protect yourself from parasites or worms. But lets be honest you already have at least 3 of those anyways and your body kindly reminds you every few days with a quick rush to the toilet.
-You carry around Cipro, Advil, Benedryl, and Melatonin in your purse because you literally have no idea what is going to happen each day, but its bound to need some sort of drug.
-If Google Maps say its going to take 6 hours to get to your next destination, double that and add 10 for a more accurate estimate. If your bus doesn't get stopped from corrupt police every 15 minutes, it will get a flat tire or one of your squad mates will have to use the bathroom every 15 minutes instead.
-You have had to wait dead stopped on the road for hours at a time in traffic: only difference is your traffic is from the crossing of a couple thousand cows, sheep, zebra's , or any other animal that may come to mind.
-You no longer need an alarm: roosters crow every 15 minutes all night, the lovely advertisers in Central America scream nonsense into their megaphones starting at 4 am, every stray dog within a 5 mile radius of your head is barking loud enough to wake the dead and at least one of your teammates is going to either snore or grind their teeth.
-You wear the same shoes for hiking a volcano, building a house, wearing with your dress for church, and walking in the rain and chaco's are the nicest shoes that you own.
-The only roller coaster you have been on is in the back seat of a chicken bus, down almost impossible roads in Kenya: thankfully you don't remember much from those drives anyway because of the concussion you got after hitting your head on the ceiling repeatedly.
-You find yourself jaw-drop staring at your own reflection in a mirror because it has been over a month since you have seen yourself in something clearer than a bus window.
-Nothing you purchase is actually yours, so if you want to eat your entire bag of M&M's you better buy six and give one to all of your teammates instead. They will call you generous and thank you incessantly, but in reality of your gift stems from selfishness.
-Your wardrobe consists of floor-length skirts, shoulder covering dresses, and you start to wonder if its too scandalous anytime that you put on your sweat pants or your knee caps are revealed.
-The closest thing you get to alone time is facing a wall with your headphones in or covering your head with your sleeping bag and closing your eyes.
-Your email from the contact for next month says that you will be doing ministry with homeless people, elderly, and the church. But you have learned after month 1, that you don't email your friends or family until after week one of your new month because its almost guaranteed that everything in the original email will prove to be false.
-You began the year as an independent person and you are now co-dependent with six other people. You can't even remember the last time you went to the bathroom by yourself….
You know you are on L squad when…
-You are referred to as the "Laboratory Squad" meaning that every expectation that you could gather from previous squads (which wasn't many) was thrown out the window the minute you arrived at training camp because AIM decided that they would try all new "dreams" aka experiments on you.
-You thought you were going to Australia 16 different times and India 3, and ended up in South Africa instead… but who's complaining?
-You were babysit in the Indian airport as if you were a toddler terrorist in disguise, watched by an overprotective hyper-paranoid mother.
-You have Seth Sr, the company CEO and our squad Dad, saying "Ah, just put it on my AIM credit card" at the same time Seth Jr, his son and our squad coordinator,is telling you to save every penny you can to prepare the way for a new generation of racers, good luck logistics team: you were destined to succeed.
-Your favorite pass times are playing contract rummy, humming tunes from our very own Johnny Eastman, or asking Ed the answer to any question you need answered: he's practically all-knowing anyway.
You know you are a Sheila when..
-You speak in the Schmee language: it can refer to people, places, or objects, completely depends on context. I die, hates it, and loves it make up the main words in your vocabulary.
-You say " That looks real good" in a voice at least 5 notches lower than normal when complimenting anything. Who needs the "y" anyway?
-You are way too accustomed to sleeping on third world country hospital floors and so thankful for a God who protects and heals His daughters.
-You listen to 1940's dinner music every night with our imaginary candle lit dinners and fall asleep with a happy heart to laughter and pillow talk.
-You start telling Micah we have to leave in 5 minutes for ministry, an hour and a half before we actually need to go to start the wake up process and you probably still fail.
-You have been through hell and back, learned to let go of lies, laugh at yourself, love more than you ever thought possible, and are walking away with lifelong friendships that have survived the refining fire
