So it certainly pays off, in most areas at least, to be the laboratory squad. This weekend my squad was incredibly spoiled and we had a "retreat" aka WR style 5 star vacation. The AIM staff wants there to be more training for the team leaders to better prepare them for the months ahead and they didn't want to leave the remaining 51 of us at our ministry for 3 days , so we all got to take a big kid field trip.
We went to lake Atitlan in Guatemala, which i can easily say is the most beautiful place I have seen in my entire life. We woke up at 5:45 friday morning, packed up all of our tents and belongings, enjoyed an incredible breakfast of banana bread muffins ( mom the whole squad loves your recipe :] ) and took a 3 hour bus ride to the lake. This isn't just any lake, it is entirely surrounded by 3 volcanos and an array of mountains decorated with small farm towns.
We made it across the lake to our Hostile by noon and had the rest of the weekend to do as we pleased. A few of the options were: zip-lining, canoeing, cliff diving, and hiking volcanoes. I wanted to do all of them but the first day I was still sick so I proceeded to lay in bed for the next 7 hours. I was blessed because I got to fall asleep to pouring rain and spend some awesome time with the Lord. But for those of you that know me don't get your hopes up its only an illusion that I was being smart and choosing to care for my body.I wanted to rest because I was determined to hike the volcano the next day, and as Diana encouraged me YORO ( you only race once). There was absolutely no way I was passing up all of these amazing adventures to lay in bed again.
So I got up at five thirty, ate breakfast at six, and was on a boat by 6:30 to San Pedro on the other side of the lake with 9 of my squadmates. We then had to take a Guatemalan style taxi to the bottom of the trail, so like pros we hopped in the back of a pick up truck and headed up the mountain. Two minutes into the ride I lost my hat in a burst of wind, thus beginning my many lessons of the day. The funny thing is I NEVER wear hats, but I decided that the combination of hiking for 6 hours and covering my dirty hair was a good enough reason to start. I was sick and tired and therefore almost in tears when it came off, especially because it was an Auburn hat that my best friend had given it to me and for goodness sakes it was only 17 days into this 11 month trip.
We begin the hike and soon found out that we had signed up for the equivalent of a 3 hour, 6 mile stair master on increasingly reduced oxygen. I am used to doing athletic events with relative ease from playing sports my whole life and in the times I am not in shape pure stubbornness can always get me by. The last time I went on a hiking adventure I was the first one up the mountain and doubled back to encourage those who were struggling. Well that was certainly last time, I was struggling up this volcano. Struggling to breathe, struggling to put one foot in front of the other, and certainly struggling with my attitude. My wonderful friend brian asked if he could carry my backpack for me and it took everything in me to actually say yes, because I don't ask for help nor accept it when offered especially when questioning my athletic ability.
Our guides kept encouraging us to move faster and take less breaks because if the clouds came in we wouldn't be able to see anything from the top of the volcano. We decided that sticking together as a group was more important to us then the view so we slowed down to accommodate those of us who were sucking wind, myself certainly included. A few minutes from the top a few people felt the Holy Spirit telling them that the Lord wanted to bless us for being faithful and sticking together and that even though there had been thick clouds for the last hour of our hike, we would see a spectacular view at the top.
Once we got to the top, the clouds that were so thick literally parted like the red sea, they split right down the middle and went around us opening up the most breathtaking view. Holy cow was it worth it. As i stared out in awe of my surroundings the Lord began revealing to me all the things He had been teaching me.
My comfort is not in Him– too often do I go to friends and places first.
losing my Auburn hat was a step in letting go.
My athletic ability is something i take pride and find my identity in,
being at the back of the group and struggling was a step in letting go.
My desire for independence doesn't allow the Lord to have all of me
letting Brian carry my bag was a step in letting go.
Our squad has been talking about getting naked when it comes to our relationship with the Lord. In order for Him to work in and through us, we have to get rid of all of the layers of junk that we put our identity in so that we can be built up in the identity that Christ has given each of us. It took a sick body on a 3 hour treacherous hike, 9 amazing and encouraging squadmates, and 9,000 feet for me to get naked with the Lord and let go of a little more of me so I could gain a little more of Him.
" He must become greater, I must become less" John 3:30
