There is a you tube video of a little kid after being drugged for dental work and in his utter confusion he asks his dad " is this real life?" . It is hilarious, if you haven't seen it look it up. I would post the link but I am on the WR here and I'm not going to waste internet time looking up something you can :].
Anyways, I feel a lot like that little boy right now on day 2 of the WR as I keep asking myself, is this real life? I applied for the WR last October, and had officially accepted before Thanksgiving. That is 10 months before I actually had to leave. The WR has seemed like something far off in the distance. Something that I could talk about with anticipation, but that would never actually arrive.
Reality check. Its here. Right now. I am on the WR. No longer will I be reading blog after blog from others WR trips, but I will be writing blog after blog that other people will read. WEIRD.
Even after landing in Guatemala after a 14 hour travel day ( we were promised this was the absolute easiest it will ever get), sleeping in a house with 63 other people, waking up to a rooster, worshipping on a rooftop and declaring God's presence over the city, listening to two parrots argue with each other in spanish, hurrying up and waiting as our 10 AM leaving time turned into 12:15 ( close enough) spending " 3" hours on a bus with 50 people and all of our stuff… good news there is no need for seat belts because you literally couldn't move if you wanted to, setting up in the pouring rain my tent i mean house for the next month and wandering around a foreign city while standing out like a sore thumb.
Even after all of that it STILL feels surreal. Along with all of these events I have experienced quite a few emotions as well. Yesterday I had to finally say bye to my family and best friends and the reality of not being able to talk to them whenever I choose is something I am still processing.
I felt alone for the first time since I can remember last night, which is a little absurd seeing as I am never even allowed to be alone for the next 11 months of my life and yesterday was certainly no exception. But alone because I really realized that I won't be able to talk to the people who know me best or be in the places that I am comfortable with, and that I call home.
It was lonely and a little scary and exactly where I need to be. If I really want the Lord to change me from the inside out and to step into who I am in Him then I have to be alone. Alone and away from all that i depend on and feel comforted by, so that my eyes can be opened to the truth that being alone with Him is all that I need.
I am thankful for the gift of restlessness that brought me to this place where I am all alone. Alone and with God. There's no where else I would rather be ( i might need your help reminding me of that sometimes…because I'm under no illusion that this will be easy but I am confident that it will be worth it)
Thank you for your support and prayers and for walking this journey beside me…but from a distance so I can actually be alone with Jesus where I need to be.
Tomorrow my team starts ministry with "Church #2". Thats all that I know. Ill write another blog later this week to tell you about it :] LOVE YOU GUYS.
