This month I decided that I wanted to "fall of the face of the earth" not my family, best friends, or boyfriend's favorite phrase of the race, seeing as in most ways I am already doing that for a year. But coming off of my "i quit" blog from last month, and this great desire for more intimacy with the Lord, falling off of the face of the earth seemed the only practical thing I could do to rely and depend on Jesus more.
I was challenged at debrief with the questions:
what are the trivial things that control your life?
what are the small comforts that you seek?
I was also reading a book, Made to Crave, that talked about how God made us capable of craving so we would have an unquenchable desire for more of Him. A craving is something that we long for, want greatly, desire eagerly and even beg for. God never intended for us to want anything other than Him, yet so often we seek temporary fixes to attempt to comfort our longing souls.
A wise friend also reminded me that "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." And in order to be most satisfied with him I knew that I had to give up and fast from the things that I seek comfort in other than the Lord.
So in addition to traveling to a new country, new continent, and new chapter of this journey, I am giving up old things, to find a new, but complete comfort in the Lord. This month I am both sweets and screen fasting, with the exception of blogging every once and a while.
I made a list of the "little things" that really aren't so little when you add them up, that I rely on to escape for a few moments or find comfort in on the race:
1) Internet– it has become more important than Jesus on my off days.
2) Texting people from home– it feels so "normal" & they "get" me.
3) American candy & spoonfuls of pb– when I am just craving "something".
4) Getting lost in a fiction book for the day– escaping to another world.
5) Travel days– secluding myself with headphones & hours of country music.
So I gave my nook to a squad mate, turned off my phone, and vowed against Skype, Facebook, and Email for the month. And I am not saying any of this to brag or be commended for all that I am sacrificing on top of this year already, but just to recognize how many things distract us daily from Jesus.. even on a year long mission trip. Even when He is all that my heart is truly longing for.
So Kenya is a month of me and a date with my Savior. Its learning how to listen through the noise, fall in love with the Word, and the start of a life on my knees. Its recognizing that no food, friend, or fear is strong enough to give me what my soul needs, only a relationship with my magnificent Father.
And the funny thing is: I was prepared to give up every comfort I could come up with or control this month, and He has already blessed me more than I could have imagined.
On top of giving up sweets and screens I assumed Africa would be rough living and full of ugali.. which if it tasted anything like training camp I knew I wouldn't eat at all on this continent. Yet I am sleeping under warm, heavy blankets, in a bed that rivals the comfort of mine at home, sleeping soundly for the first time in 7 months. Being loved on, accepted, and encouraged by a sweet grandmother, who after one hour already loved us as her own. We have Marium, a joyful young woman who is so full of life it explodes out of her, preparing 3 gourmet meals for us along with two tea times. I look outside and I am surrounded by the glory of God in the mountians, rainy afternoons and smiling faces. I have a couch and fire to sit by as I dig into the Word, listen to the voice of my Daddy and fight for my sisters. I am truly amazed by how much my God has blessed me in this month where I was planning on roughing it in every area of the word.
