I have been in Thailand for only 24 hours, and I am already confident that I am going to experience withdrawal when I leave in a month. Something about this place has ignited a spark and excitement in my life that I haven't been able to explain or contain. Last month, even though I can look back and acknowledge the great moments, was incredibly hard and I am so very thankful that I am in both a new place and season of my life.
We arrived at our ministry at 4 am December 31st after not sleeping for over 48 hours, woke up at noon, and had training all day to brief us on the Thai culture and our ministry for the month. Then we had a decision to make, everyone was incredibly exhausted and our beds sounded heavenly, but this was New Years Eve and we are in Thailand. Words of my squad leader who had challenged us to choose in this month rang in the back of my head, and I knew that despite exhaustion there was no way that I was going to miss this.
We went out, bought the most amazing stretchy pants, tried crazy foods and stood in awe of the beauty around us. I felt like we were in the movie Tangled as hundreds of lanterns lit up the sky, I wish that the pictures could do it justice…but I am also thankful that they don't, because it makes the night that much more special with the wonderful, Godly women I got to share it with.
As the new year was minutes away, two of our girls tried to release a lantern a bit too soon, so it floated right back down. Thankfully Mary B and Kaitlyn caught it and then all of the L squad women who had decided to choose in that night helped hold the lantern. We counted down until midnight and released our lantern together just as the first fireworks were exploding. And here is the picture that caught that moment. It was beautiful, incredible, and ordained by our perfect Heavenly Father.
Just like everything else in this crazy world. One thing I am leaving behind with 2012 is my great desire to do things independently and my way, because even when my way works…that doesn't mean its the best way. If the lantern would have taken off when they intended, I wouldn't have gotten this beautiful picture and we wouldn't have all been able to share the moment so intimately with each other, because we wouldn't have done it together.
I was spending time with Jesus this morning and asking Him what He wanted 2013 to be about for me instead of telling Him what I was going to be about in 2013. I saw an old tangled vine, that was intertwined down to its very core. It was impossible to tell which branches were new and which were old. This is exactly what I want my year to be about, becoming so intertwined with my Savior… that I am lost in His glory and its impossible to tell what parts are me and what parts are Him.
So what if for this New Years instead of making our own resolutions we ask God renovate our resolutions. Instead of finding our own ways to fix ourselves and our lives, we recognize the fact that we can't do it alone and that our way isn't always the best way?
" For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. The heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways highter than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts"
Isaiah 55:8-9
