I thought I would try to wait to write this post, but I just can’t help it! I want to share something that’s been on my heart for a little while.
As I have begun this season, I’ve noticed that my only constant has been my Lord. Basically everything has changed and new things have arisen out of this time. There have been hard times, but I’m now at the point where He is building me back up again- that’s what He wanted to do all along.
Recently, I’ve noticed- I’m gonna get a bit vulnerable here- that I’ve been dependent on the beliefs of others to know what I believe. I haven’t been grounded in what I believe- knowing that I know that I know, you know?
Last month, I asked the Lord if He would give me a new name for Him. That very same day, He showed me in Hosea(2:16-17) that my new name for Him would be “My Husband”. He has started to show me the beauty of being in an intimate, pure relationship with Him and I know He has so much more to show me.
He has revealed to me that, in this season, He wants to show me more of His character and what He desires. He wants to tell me things- the things that you’d tell someone you’re deeply in love with. He wants to lead me into intercession for things and people I see. He wants me to rejoice in simply being in His presence. He wants me to live free and be able to dance with Him! Isn’t it beautiful?
Lately, on walks, I’ve literally found myself dancing around the path and at the pavilion near our house, I’ve found myself admiring the mountains, the water, and the trees, and just thinking “Man, He loves me…”
I’ve gotta tell you… the feeling is pretty mutual. I mean, who wouldn’t be in love with someone who pursues so persistently, passionately, and has a flawless personality? I mean, He’s literally perfect. I’ve finally caught onto this thing.
I’m learning how to ask Him the hard questions and get to the point where I am really knowing more about His truth and not simply grabbing hold of secondhand beliefs. It is so stinkin’ great.
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An update on life as a high school English teacher in Thailand:
I’m really enjoying teaching- my classes are mostly 10th and 12th grade, but I also have a 7th and 8th grade class. They are so fun, but they kind of intimidate me sometimes. I mean, high school is rough, you know? I never expected to be back in one so soon.
I help with pronunciation and play games with some of the classes, while in others, we go over how to do resumes and interviews. Next week, the 8th grade class I help teach will have a cooking class and will be making sandwiches.
Just the other day, one of my 10th grade students, Fon, invited me to eat lunch with her at the cafeteria. I love getting to know them! It’s such a joy that she truly wanted to get to know me and was willing to put in the effort to talk with me- plus, it’s great practice for her!
As much as I love these times, I also have moments of extreme awkwardness. For example: just yesterday, I was playing games with a class and then asked them to teach me a game, song, or dance. In an effort to make them more comfortable or make them laugh, I gave them an example. Welllll…..
After writing “Teach me a song, dance, or game” on the board, I waited for them. It was interesting. We did a lot of staring at each other and they did a lot of staring at their phones. I think they were looking up ideas or trying to figure out what I wrote.
We ended up running out of time, but after class, one girl came up to me and said “I’m sorry I did not understand”.
I responded with “That’s ok. I’m here for you to practice.”
It blessed me that even though it didn’t quite work out, they still had grace for me. I probably have a lot more rough classes ahead of me, but ultimately, I hope that I am able to be a beautiful testimony of the deep love of Christ- so they may experience Him, too. I have such a unique and neat opportunity to show Christ’s love to a Thai government school.
Currently, I feel myself being called to intercession for the students and teachers and we’ll see what opportunities arise from there. I will simply love with my whole heart. Please join me in prayer for them. They are still in a mourning period and are still trying to figure out what to do after losing their king of 70 years.
Thank you so much for following my journey and choosing to be a part of it. Love you lots, friend!
