Vulnerability is something that is hard for me. I’m not always concerned about putting myself out there as much as I’m concerned about the after-effects. So you can imagine how stressful it can be for me to share with others.
In this blog post, I want to share some of my heart and be vulnerable. I want to share about where I’ve been and where I’m going and I hope that it can be a blessing to you. I want to share what God is doing without fear of what others may think, so here goes.
For a long time, I have struggled with comparison. My mind gets so caught up in being what I think others want me to be, that I end up having a hard time simply being myself. Although it is still an area of needed growth, I’m getting a good start.
This kind of plays into how I’ve been feeling lately- stressed-out- for no good reason. It’s like I’m constantly anxious or looking for something to be anxious about. Whether I’m thinking about fundraising or what I’m going to say to someone, I’ve been simply stressed. Well, “simply” probably isn’t quite the right word.
Thinking about how I get stressed even causes stress… Yeah, I know… It’s bad.
I’ve found that the underlying issue in all of this is that I want everyone to like me. In reality, I know that isn’t possible, but my heart just wants others to say, “Wow, you are an amazing human being and I love you for being you…”
Even when I know what the truth is, I get stuck feeling like I can’t measure up. I have such an annoying feeling that I’m supposed to please everyone. Good for me, Jesus loves me even when I’m feeling this way. That may sound so cliché, but it’s the truth. “Jesus loves me, yes I know, for the Bible tells me so…”
And it’s true! It does… In Mark 2:15-17, Jesus is eating with sinners and tax collectors and the Pharisees question why He does this.
While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the sinners and the tax collectors, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
When I feel like people are judging me or would rather spend their time with someone more interesting, my good ol’ friend Jesus loves to be around me. He loves me for me. What more could I ask for? This love is better than any earthly acceptance.
Jesus’ opinion is more important to me than any other. He takes me for me and calls me to grow closer to Him. He has called me to follow Him in this love. I am a flawed human being, so I will make mistakes, but it is important to love others like this. It is worth it.
This can be your story. Accept His love and it’s all yours. You may feel stuck and worried about the acceptance of others, but remember that someone loves you unconditionally.
Jesus sees what you’ve done, where you’ve been, and where you’re at right now and all He wants is to be with you.
Be with Him and seek Him in return…
