Yeah I’m not big on this whole blog writing thing, so long story short I was Thailand and now I’m in Malaysia. Thailand was boring besides the fun hitchhiking adventures (I have hitchhiked from a side-cart on a motorcycle to a eighteen wheeler lol sorry mom), and the hilarious nights spent with my team. Anyways this blog is about how Malaysia put me in a whirl pool of emotions.
When we first arrived to our ministry site I was so overwhelmed. I’m pretty sure I cried all day that day trying to adjust to the different living conditions. Five months into the race and we have had our own rooms, nice beds, and not much ministry. We get here and find out we are taking care of nineteen kids all day. We don’t have our own rooms, we don’t have our own space to hide and get away, we are living out of our packs, and we have to sleep on the living room floor with our sleeping pad. Basically the world was coming to an end…….at least in my mind it was. Funny how God can humble you so quickly.
We live with an Indian family and it is a home for abused children. It is run by a church who help children who have been abused and are living in terrible conditions. For the first week I was an emotional wreck learning all of their stories and how they came to be in this home. I am sure the children thought I was crazy. I would look at them and hug them and just cry. It made me so sad to think anyone could abuse and hit some of these kids. It seemed the more I loved on them the sadder I became. Then by week two, I was just plain angry and a ball of fire (ask Shelbie). I knew this place was a safe haven for these children, but I did not understand why bad things had to happen to them. Even with us being here these kids will never get all the love they deserve. On top of all of these emotions our team was so annoyed with each other. We poured our all into these kids, and we were so tired that our team couldn’t refill up on each other. It made it to where we were just all so grumpy to each other. My patience with the kids was awesome, but with my team mates it ran thin. I didn’t even know patience was something I needed to work on till I got here. Our team watched a Todd White sermon one day, and he said “patience is love and if you don’t have patience for the people around you, you aren’t loving them right”. I felt so convicted, and it made me change my whole attitude of how I was treating my team mates. I know God is working in me here, and braking down walls I never knew were up. I will never know or understand what God’s plans are for these kids. I do know that we were put here for a reason. We are here to love them as hard as we can and teach them right from wrong to the best of our ability. And I do believe I am learning from them just as much as they are learning from me.
We are now on our final week here. These kids will never know how much love I have for them or how much I will miss every single moment I had while staying here. If I could I would take every single one of them home with me I would in a heart beat. The days were long but I have never experienced and been surrounded by so much love. I will miss my mornings of a bunch of kids sitting around me waiting for me to wake up. However, I will NOT miss the nasty smells of Asia.
