This month I have done so many things that I didn’t think I would. I’ve eaten more parts of a chicken than I knew existed (let alone thought were edible), I’ve been smacked across the face by a 7 year old because he doesn’t know that’s not how to get attention, I’ve leveled so much dirt and hauled so much sand I could be a professional at it in the States, I’ve slept in a tent when there was an option of having a bed, I’ve worn socks so many times without washing them that you can’t even tell that they’re white anymore, and I’ve folded so many clothes I could do it in my sleep. So many things. So many new experiences. I don’t even know how to explain most of what I’m feeling. Peru isn’t my favorite place in the world, but I’ve learned so much from this place and my team and squad mates while being here. Morale is low this month and it’s hard to get out of the mindset that nothing is going to be what we expect it to be so we may as well be disappointed before we even do anything, because once that idea is in your head, you can’t get away from it.
I don’t dislike Peru because I don’t like the work we’re doing here though. I don’t really know how to explain it. There’s just something about this place. A heaviness that never goes away. It’s hard to get up day in and day out and have a winning attitude because so many people are having a rough month. So many emotions have been brought up this month that have been buried by people and issues are coming out and it’s tough. I’m learning so much that I let my attitude be affected by the attitude of those around me, but I have my own thoughts, my own feelings, and my own decision. I can choose to be grumpy because everyone else is, or I can choose to be happy because that’s how I feel. I don’t need my mood to be approved by my team before I can show it and I don’t have to tone down my feelings because other people may not think they’re correct. I’m only responsible for my feelings and not the feelings of anyone else. I can’t decide for them that they’re going to be happy and enjoy their day or have fun doing construction or painting or working at the daycare. I can only choose my attitude and I need to be ok with that.
With that being said, I’m going to tell you all the great things about Peru:
1. The first week we were here Inca, the dog of the director of the orphanage, had her 5th litter of puppies and they’re pretty cute, even if they do smell kind of bad
2. If my career plans for the political world don’t work out, I can always fall back on being a professional dirt leveler
3. It has been such a blessing to see how the people on staff here at IncaLink love what they do and love serving us and the community
4. No matter how much I complain about being here with my entire squad, it has truly been a great experience because I have had the chance to learn so much from each of them and grow from that
5. The kids we have gotten to work with have shown me what a difference it makes to receive the right kind of love from our families instead of conditional love based on what they can do for someone else
6. I have gotten to see a whole different side of my team, and even though it’s not the prettiest side, I still love them and can’t wait to see how they turn out at the end of this amazing trip.
7. There’s always someone playing the guitar (however, this can also be one of the bad things about living in a large group as well)
8. I’m learning to be less independent when it comes to working. I usually hate doing things in groups because it takes longer and I’d much rather do it on my own, but I’m learning that that’s the way to build relationships even if it’s not always the most efficient way to get things done.
9. Having the opportunity to hang out with all girls team for a few days. Not being around men is something new for me because I have always had mostly guy friends.
There are plenty of good things about this place, sometimes it just takes some rounds of playing the Thankful Game to find them. It will always be a memorable experience in my life and I’m glad I have the opportunity to be here and learn to be content and joyful even when it’s not my first instinct.
I started this blog about a week ago, but since then, things in Peru have really started to turn around. This week has been a breath of fresh air and I'm not going to say I love it here, but it hasn't been such a fight to be happy and have a good time.
