From the time when I was little, I've been one that is very closed towards emotion. Despite the fact that I am very emotional, I would never want to show it to others. I wanted to appear as though I always had my act together even if I was going through a hard time. Suppressing sadness or anger always seemed like the best way for me to deal with it. Even as a child, I remember trying to hold back tears the best that I could until I was alone in my room, then I could let it all out (but quickly, before my family would have a chance to come and ask me what was wrong). Perhaps its partially due to my introverted personality, but I would always resolve to handle my problems by myself. Not realizing that I was robbing myself of one of the things God created to sustain us through hardship: community/relationship with others.
This week, I said goodbye to my brother who serves as missionary in Honduras. I went to the airport with my Mom and Dad to see my brother off and as it came time to say goodbye, there I was again trying my hardest not to cry. When I went to hug him, it was inevitable… I started to tear up. Yet, I tried my hardest to hold it in and turn in an opposite direction to wipe off the tears that had welled up.
I think back to a few years ago when my grandmother passed away. During the funeral and the viewing I would try not to cry. I remember being at the grave site with my family and looking around to see almost everyone in my family crying and yet again there I was trying so hard to hold it in. Even though I felt a sense of loss and sadness, I was sure to bottle that emotion up so that no one could tell.
It is truly beautiful to see a friendship that is encouraging and uplifting to each person. The truth is, we were not meant to go through life alone. God has placed family and friends in each our lives to support us through ups and downs. We're are not meant to suffer alone. Ephesians 4:2 instructs us to 'bear with one another in love'. Seeking help in troubled times is not a sign of weakness, but rather strength. It is difficult to be vulnerable with each other, but at the same time it is rewarding in that it encourages others to be ok with not being ok. Sometimes life requires that we grieve. The grieving is a healthy process to restore us in broken times. Give yourself a break and let it out.
