Last month we served with Lightforce International, a Christian camp center that employs locals and holds several camps during the summer. Our job was to help run three different camps as well as maintain the property and run a pig and sheep farm. Since it was all squad month (all 49 people from our squad in the same location doing the same ministry) each of us were given different jobs, some were on security duty, others helped run activities, some ran the pig farm, and others on kitchen duty.
I was on kitchen duty and was responsible for set up and clean up of meals as well as preparation for meals. Initially I was a bit frustrated with the situation as I didn’t feel like I was doing ministry. In retrospect I can see how this time was valuable in teaching me to choose joy in the times that might not be the most enjoyable and showing me that the Lord can use anything to further his kingdom. In the kitchen we were working with two locals Flora and Duescha who were not Christians. We had a unique opportunity to show the love of Christ through serving the Lord and serving with joy. At the end of the month when we said goodbye to them you could see how grateful they were to have had our help.
When I first signed up for the World Race, I expected that I was in for quite the journey, but little did I know how much the Lord would deal with my heart. In Albania, I struggled. I struggled with understanding my purpose in being there, with catching sight of the vision of the ministry, with being selfish, with viewing everything in a negative light, with fearing being in a large group setting and what my squad would think of me as an introvert, with being intentional in building relationships, and with finding joy in the midst of all of it.
Throughout the month I felt like God was revealing one thing after the next that needed transformation or growth. I felt as though I was constantly being broken down and my sins were being brought to light and exposed for what they were. Though it was painful emotionally and spiritually to let go of my pride and false sense of perfection, I am grateful for the suffering the Lord took me through. The Lord was constantly teaching me about how to be thankful for times that are difficult because he uses times as these to refine us and make us more like him.
At the end of the month, I realized that I had been looking at my feet while walking around in Albania, both literally and figuratively. As we would make our weekly trips to town by foot, I would notice that everywhere we went I was so focused on watching were I would step and be concerned with myself first, instead of looking around at the people around me. It hit me, my last night in Albania, walking back from town, the much deeper meaning of this realization; the majority of the month I had been so wrapped up in my own issues that I missed the opportunities around me.
Coming out of the month, I have been challenged to not let opportunities slip by looking at my own feet, but instead to always be looking around at those around me who I can help or pour into. There are so many opportunities around us that if we would even for a second get our eyes off of ourselves we would be able to take part in. Look up, don’t watch your own feet, there’s a world out there that is waiting for you.
Sometimes joy comes in a form unseen. In the things unexpected. The pursuit of joy is found in the perseverance. The times when we are lacking. When we despair what is ahead. He is our joy, independent of circumstance. The testing of our peace, hope and joy is in the suffering. Through the trial and the pain, He confirms that true joy, hope and peace is found in Him alone. Upon who else can we depend? He teaches us that our well runs dry if that is all we’re drawing from, but He is a mighty river, ever flowing, that fills us with water that brings and sustains abundant life.
