When I'm frustrated or stressed, I write.
Often to just get the frustration out or to try process what I'm feeling, but also to document where I've been and what has happened in my life.
This past week, I was especially frustrated when I found out that I had accidently signed up for the wrong class meaning I would have to take one more semester of classes. Instead of finishing out my degree in December as planned, I would now have to take another 8 week course in January.
Looking back now, I know that I should not have been so upset about it; since I would still be walking in May and really it's only one more class. More than anything, I think I was most upset that 'my plan' was ruined by a simple mistake that could have been prevented if I only had checked earlier to make sure everything was right.
I find that in moments like these, when I am frustrated or upset, God speaks. After ranting some about my frustration in my journal, I found one phrase that kept resurfacing in my mind which eventually turned in to a poem; it went like this:
Letting Go,
It hurts when you've been holding on so tight
That one thing that you've wanted for so long
You've been holding on to with all your strength
When it's ripped from your hands, its left you with scars
If you'd loosened your grip, would it have hurt so bad?
Trust in the Lord, who knows all your plans
His ways are higher, thought sometimes painful they seem
He is the compass to which we must lean
Loosen your grip and take hold of Him
Who will not disappoint
When I realized how much I had been holding on to my own desires and plans, I was able to see that I had put up a wall to God's plans for my life. Sometimes God's plans aren't what we think they should be and we aren't happy about them, but ultimately he knows what's best for us. When we let go of our plans and allow them to be altered by the creator of the universe, we cannot fail.
Every day is an opportunity to let go of selfish desires and plans and submit to God's will. This is my prayer as I go on the World Race; that my desires and plans would be altered to match God's desires and plans for my life.
Let go of what your holding on to, submit it to God. He knows infinitely more than we do and is worthy of our trust, love, faith and submission. He's the whole picture while we see just a small piece of the puzzle. Trust him, he is worthy and he will not disappoint.
