To those Christians who grew up in church and are still there today, to those who are still in the church but have been left desiring more from christianity, to those who have turned from Christianity in search of something more, allow me to address you and urge you not to buy into the lie that a religion can satisfy you, bring purpose and meaning. Before you stop reading, allow me to explain:

How many times are we sucked into the pattern of thinking, if we just had this or that, our lives would be more fulfilled, more satisfied, more purposeful. Even in the realm of Christianity, we are taught that if we do works that are noble we will be satisfied by our own efforts.

For me, it was traveling the world and being a missionary to the nations. I thought that an adventure, a physical migration, and a forced method of Christian charity work would change me. But little did I realize that though I was physically thousands of miles away from all things familiar, though I was living a life of what I thought to be abandonment, and preaching the gospel message, the state of my heart was exactly where it was when I left America; stuck in an all too familiar state of emptiness, reaching out for anything to temporarily numb the feeling of lack.

Don’t buy into the lie that you have to be somewhere else to make a difference in this world or to give yourself a sense of meaning. Don’t believe that the one thing you’ve been desiring for months or years is going to make you permanently happy or change you.

Don’t believe the lie that if you grew up in the church you’re living up to your full potential as a child of God. You were called to much more than to be nominally ‘christian’. You were called to experience the fullness of Christ, the freedom that was bought with innocent blood, and the life transformation that comes through faith in Jesus.

Don’t idly sit and watch your life fly by without experiencing the free gift of salvation that doesn’t just have to do with where you will end up after death, but also deals with the here and now, the present. God isn’t simply concerned with our future eternal destiny, but with the life we are experiencing now. He desires for us to live out of an overflow of his love for us. To experience joy, peace gladness and fullness of life.

The fact of the matter is, your circumstances can change, your atmosphere can change, the people around you can change, your financial situation can change but without an encounter with Jesus the state of your heart remains the same: EMPTY.

You can be a pastor or missionary and still not have the fullness of life if you are missing the central belief behind christianity: faith in Jesus. If you are placing anything else on the throne except Jesus, you will be disappointed and left empty wanting more. Jesus alone brings us total joy, satisfaction and purpose. You can get your dream job, you can visit every country in the world, you can become wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, but its all just a chasing after the wind – meaningless, void of purpose.

Solomon says it best when he states “I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 2:10-11).

Though I would have never expressed it before, I’ve lived a lot of my life unsatisfied with christianity. I was always left wanting more. By coming on the World Race, I was seeking to fulfill that hole that wanted more. I thought that a program, an organization, and a life of abandonment would change me into a better woman, full of grace and love with so much to give that I single-handily change that world. But I was wrong.

It wasn’t the World Race, or Adventures in Missions, or even Christianity that gave me the satisfaction, freedom, and purpose I so desperately desired. It was an encounter with Jesus that truly changed me. True satisfaction comes from an experience with Jesus, who has the power to not only give us the desires of our hearts, but to transform the heart itself, which is of greater worth than any material thing.

When we allow our hearts to be transformed by Jesus, we are able to be set free from our flesh and its desires. We are able to be fully satisfied because Jesus is the only thing that stands through the test of time and trials. He has secured our hope in him that we may be free.

Our good deeds don’t redeem us. Isaiah 64:6 says “all our righteous acts are like filthy rags”. I would try to achieve the perfection and holiness that is described in the Bible and always find I could never measure up. I was trying so hard to be something I could never be in and of myself.

I needed Jesus. More than anything else in my life. Though I grew up believing in Christ, I was never fully satisfied because I was attaching all these other things along with Jesus to fulfill me.

I thought I needed to believe in Jesus and be a perfect person in order to experience satisfaction. I thought I needed the approval of others to feel worthy. While I was constantly searching for what I thought I needed, I was faced with the fact that none of those things could truly satisfy; only a relationship with Christ could truly change my heart to be fully satisfied by him.

I thought that my happiness and satisfaction was what was most important. But the more I encountered the love of Jesus, the more I realized it’s not about my desires or my satisfaction, but all about Jesus. My life is not all about me and how much I can get out of other people or out of God, but all about bringing praise, honor and glory to the God who created me and called me according to his purpose for my life.

If we take Jesus out of Christianity, we have nothing but a broken system of trying to earn the favor of God by our good deeds. A system that can’t mend the brokenness of our hearts, can’t bridge the gap between humanity and God, and can’t fully satisfy.

If you take nothing else away from this, take this: cling to Jesus, the one who sets captives free, who redeems evil for good, who is so far above us, who is far above any religion, system, method, organization, or program, who is worthy of our affection, praise, and honor, and who loves unconditionally and without fault.

“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken” (Psalm 62:1-3).