Doubt…it controls us, it makes us question things and I am not proud to say that I have doubted God, and what He can and will do for us. I knew at the end of March that this mission trip was meant to be but then I started realizing how fast deadlines were approaching, how I was still in college at the time trying to prep for my finals, and it felt like a never-ending battle. I was over-whelmed and began questioning, is this really for me? I had to have $5,000 by June 22nd, or I couldn’t go to training camp, if I couldn’t go to training camp then how would I go on the race? Although that was just a little less than a third of what I had to raise that goal itself seemed unreachable.
I moved back home from college on the 3rd of May. At that point I still hadn’t even begun fundraising I had ideas of what I wanted to do, but no idea on where to start. I had $150 in my account and that was the deposit I had made to hold my spot. By mid-May I had met with my pastor and posted online what I was doing, but I still hadn’t made the announcement in church, guess what? It was time! At this time, I had maybe ten shirts sold, and I was starting to wonder what to do. I announced it in church, and the outpour of love and support was amazing and quite humbling. I then talked with a member after church who convinced me that I needed to have a bingo, my response, well okay, but I’ve never even been to a bingo, so I have no idea what to do or expect. I met with some people and learned that we were doing all cash prizes and gift cards, this again was worrisome. I wasn’t even to my $5,000 goal yet and now I’m to ask people to sponsor games and not put that money towards my goal? AHHH!!!
I struggled getting businesses to even listen to me, much less sponsor games, or give door prizes. I called my Mom and told her I was coming to her work because I was feeling so defeated. She talked to me and reminded me that I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, and to not get discouraged. Somehow the next week my games were ALL sponsored, I had ALL the door prizes and I had met my first goal of $5,000 dollars nearly three weeks early.
I had doubted and told myself this was an impossible task and I wasn’t going to get to go. GUESS WHAT? God showed me. He took all my worries and doubts and threw them away, He provided for me in ways I NEVER dreamed He would. This just showed me 1. Not to doubt, because God is in control. 2. God provides, ALWAYS! 3. This is truly what I am to do.
Technically this trip hasn’t started yet, however, it has already taught me a lot and my relationship with God continues to grow and I learn new things every day.
With all of that being said, I just want to remind you that worrying and doubting definitely doesn’t benefit you. Just go ahead and hand all of your worries and doubts to God, He will take care of them. *Ephesians 1:11*
Lastly, I want to thank ALL of my supporters, I could not do any of this without you guys, and I love you all! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!
**P.S. The name of this blog post comes from a song called “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury, you should check it out!
