DEPENDENT: Needing the support of something or someone in order to continue existing or operating -Cambridge Dictionary
Instead of doing a new years resolution that would probably last me a grand total of 9 days, this year I asked God If He could give me a word to focus on for the new year. The word that kept on coming back to my mind was ‘dependence’. Now this was before I had a clue that I would be going on a nine month trip serving in some of the most hidden corners of the world, so I was a little confused.
At that point in my life, I was looking into 4 year colleges, I was always busy with my friends and family, and trying to make my senior year memorable. I have never had to wonder about where my next meal would come from, or felt unsafe when I went to sleep. My family life was sturdy, and I loved the Lord, so I was a little unsure what I would need to be dependent about.
Now flash forward two weeks, I was sitting in church, and I was faced with the question “what have I been withholding from God?” The thing that immediately popped into my head was my future plans for after I graduate. Recently I had been trying to figure out college situations all on my own, which was causing a lot of anxiety for me. I would pray for guidance, but I wouldn’t actually listen because I didn’t want the Lord to mess up my “plans” or lack there of. However, that night I basically just decided to give that whole situation to the Lord. I was exhausted from not feeling peace about my future.
The next day, I was just going about my business per usual, but I just could not stop thinking about the world race. It had been my dream to do it for about two years, but I totally scratched that idea at the beginning of my senior year when I dubbed it fun, but un-realistic. At first, I kept on pushing the idea away by telling myself, “no, I don’t have the money for that right now” or “no, I need to go to college” and “what the heck! I decided I wouldn’t take this gap year about five months ago!” But by the end of the day, It was evident that God was tugging on my heart to apply. So I did. And I kid you not, I felt this tidal wave of excitement and peace and joy after I did. I suddenly couldn’t see myself doing anything else next year, and the idea of decorating dorm rooms and signing up for college classes next year seemed miserable in comparison.
I was accepted on the spot during my phone interview, and this was the first time I have EVER cried happy tears, haha I was so exited I didn’t know what to do with myself.
So to sort of wrap this all up, I know that the Lord will be teaching me dependence all throughout this journey, from depending on Him to to provide me with the funds I will need, to depending on Him to keep me safe while I am in unknown territory, to even depending on Him to provide the people and opportunities I will need to have in order to serve, and show His love to strangers on the other side of the world. Its a full circle kinda thing & God is so Good!
It would mean so much to me to know that you are praying for me, and if you feel lead to give, you can donate through my blog at the top! No amount is too small or too big and will be such a blessing! My first step is being dependent on the Lord, that He will will provide me with the $15,800 that I need! If you have any questions, I would love call or text or meet up with you or anything of the sort!! I appreciate you for reading this (It means so so much) and I can’t wait to see what happens next. Have a great day!! :))
Psalm 27:12
-abba
