Sunday January 17 2016.
Today I had the opportunity to visit a home for unwed mothers. Some of these women became pregnant as a result of rape. Others became pregnant from boyfriends and have been kicked out of their families, or are hiding it from their families for fear of being thrown out. The women are able to stay at this home for up to three months after their baby is born. Some of the women keep their babies but a lot are given up for adoption.
As I walk up to the home (I’ll call it Emily’s Home) I am struck at how seamlessly it blends in with the rest of the buildings in the area. There are multiple tall apartment-looking buildings very close together on a narrow street. In the states, Emily’s Home would probably have a nice sign to inform you of the non-profit, maybe a billboard sign along the road a few miles away. Not here though. Here Emily’s Home is tucked away amongst the rest of the population, no billboard, no welcoming sign…. nothing. In this country, Emily’s Home is one of the only places of refuge for unwed mothers for thousands of miles.
I am unsure of what to expect when I enter. What I’ll see, what I’ll experience, or heaven forbid what I’ll be asked to do. I have a background in working with survivors of sexual abuse, but this is so different. In my mind, I am a guy walking to a building full of women who have been used and abused by men, and left to fend for themselves, and for their child that they never planned on having. What could I possibly do to help, to make a difference.
Once we entered the building we were greeted with warm smiles, and greetings in the local language. I politely respond in what little of the language I have managed to pick up in the few days that I have been in country. My team and I were then encouraged to eat, and to have a seat. Once seated I took a look around and saw all of the young women. Some pregnant, some carrying their infant children. Immediately I want to hold and love on these babies, but I am hesitant because I don’t want to cause waves being a guy in a place of safety for these women.
Before long all of the guests and the women who live there began singing songs and worshipping Jesus. Four chairs were brought to the center of the room, and four women with their infants sat in them. As we sat there different people came up and laid hands on the mothers and the children and prayed for them in their native language. I couldn’t understand any of it and I just sat there soaking it all in. While they were praying I found out that three of the babies were born as a result of their mothers being raped. The last baby was actually abandoned. The mother had her baby at Emily’s House and after two days left her baby….. just walked away….
As the group was praying for the first mother and child I was struck by how young she was; maybe 15 by my guess. I eventually learned that she was only 12 years old!, and that she was giving her baby up for adoption. Right about that time I heard the person praying say “Aaron” in the middle of the prayer… Aaron?!? “That baby has my name!!!” I wanted to scream, but I didn’t. All I could do was cry. In that moment my world collided violently with the harsh realities of this world. I am no stranger to sexual abuse, but I didn’t know how to process this! A 12 year old girl being raped, delivering a baby, and giving it up for adoption. I knew that this was the best thing for the Aaron, but man how incredibly hard this must be for her. I immediately began praying and blessing the mother and child. Knowing that this was the best I could do.
After all of the women and babies were prayed for we all went back to mingling. Right about that time a lady sat down beside me and held little Aaron. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him still trying to rationalize what was going on. What it must be like to go through a traumatic event like that and to then give up your child! The lady next to me asked if I wanted to hold little Aaron, of course I said yes. My heart leapt as I cradled him in my arms. In that moment as I looked at him sleeping peacefully in my arms it all made sense. All the years I spent working with rape victims all the long nights and days listening to children tell their stories of being violently abused, all of the meetings with deadbeat parents who didn’t love their children… it finally clicked! God does create good out of even the most horrible of events! I was holding this proof in my arms!!! Even though I spent years looking for the good, I never paused to think about how God is so much bigger than my doubts and fears. He has a plan and a provision for everyone!
Little Aaron’s mom is giving him up for adoption, but she isn’t abandoning him. She is making a HUGE sacrifice knowing that little Aaron will have a much better life with a loving and supportive family. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for her to give him up. Even though she is giving him up for life! How much harder must it have been for God to give up his Son for death! Death for the sins of everyone. For the rapist, the murderers, for me, for you. How great is God’s love for us!! We can join in a personal relationship with him because he gave up his Son for us!
I challenge you to get involved in making a difference in the lives of unwed mothers! I would highly encourage you to check out Hope Pregnancy Center in Boone, NC USA choosehope.org if you need a place to start.
Please understand that for the safety of my team and local contacts I can not give out the location of where I am. I am in the first country on my list. If you do not have this list please feel free to email me for it.
