describe such raw emotion, it turns into sappy frogwash. This is my
first blog written away from home; it is the first time that I cannot
ask my mom if my writing is too boring or too pedantic to publish. It
is the first time my dad isn’t working next to me on the computer; he
isn’t even next to me goofing off with video chat while pretending to
work on the computer. My loyal puppy isn’t under my feet while I type.
Does she wonder where I am? Is she waiting for the bus to bring me home, like she did when I went away to school? Eleven months is a long
time for an old girl that already struggles to climb the very stairs
she used to conquer with enthusiastic obedience. Her youthful prance is
a memory quickly fading. She is my dog; she was my Christmas gift
twelve years ago. Will her last moments be spent waiting faithfully for
a bus that isn’t coming?
written about incredible and intense team bonding in Kansas City, as we
spent three days fasting, praying, and worshiping God at the
International House of Prayer. I had intended to write a preview of our
upcoming duties in the Philippines. It may even have been interesting
to share my hopes and dreams for the World Race, or to explain about
some silly things that have happened here in California. I am, however,
going to do none of the above because my heart is too heavy for that.
Before I left, my wonderful family (encouraged by my sweet mama)
celebrated an early Christmas with me. We sang “The Twelve Days of
Christmas” in parts. I was honored with the role of the Partridge in a
Pear Tree, not because it is the most significant role, but because as
far back as I can remember my late grandfather always sang that part.
We then played “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” on our projector screen
and won the virtual $1,000,000 with our combined pool of useless
knowledge. My aunts brought their respective famous cookies, desserts,
salads, homemade breads, and other assorted delectables. Later, they
gave me my Christmas presents early. Each gift was either a financial
donation or a word of encouragement for my missions trip, and I realized that I was given on this very Christmas exactly what I had
always asked for. When I was little, my parents would ask me what I
wanted for Christmas and I would reply with childlike sincerity that I
didn’t need anything, and wanted them to give my presents to poor
children who wouldn’t otherwise get any. Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayers. After the gifts, and after many tears
and smiles, my family prayed over me and said their goodbyes.
give up what could very easily be her final year hasn’t been easy. I
mentioned the special bond with my dog specifically because I can
describe it in words. Words -can- pretty much fully encompass the
breadth and scope of my love for her and of the difficulty I had in
leaving her. Words cannot, however, begin to describe the heaviness I
feel in leaving my mom, dad, brother, family, and friends. When you’ve
got something wonderful, and you know that you’ve got something
wonderful, it isn’t easy to give it up. I’ve been blessed with a godly,
irreplaceable family, and with supportive friends much
more gifted than I. It’s hard walking away from all that and into the unknown for a year. I didn’t get to say goodbye to everyone, and I didn’t have the right words to give to those whom I did. I’ve cast aside relationships that meant very much to me, but God has called me to love Him first and foremost. I must remember from whence my friends and family came. To me, they are blessings from God. The beauty I see in them is but a tiny reflection of His most gracious love for me. He gives and He takes away. Now He’s taking me away from the gifts and comforts in which He has surrounded me my whole life. It is time for me to turn my blessings back into praise for Him. Tomorrow I leave for the Philippines with one goal: to glorify God in all that I say and do. God bless and farewell.
