Isolated and set apart. That’s what God wanted for me. Intimacy. Solitude. During my time in China, that’s what I got.
For about five days, I was alone enough to start having conversations with my own thoughts. Yes, there were people around, but not many spoke English…and I was away from the blessing of Christian community. May I never ever ever take that for granted again. During our time in China, we were told that we would not have communication back home. No internet, no phone calls, no emails. Little did I know that God was going to strip even more away from me. When we reached our location, we were told that we would be divided up into three groups (Teams Beloved One and Ignite were together this month…kinda). We separated the girls into two groups, while Seth and I were sent to a different location entirely. But it didn’t stop there. 
Once Seth and I reached our location, we were then separated for 5 days in order to teach at English corners in different cities. So there ya have it. Alone. The only company I kept were some guys who I’ll call Jim, Bob, and Joe. These guys were amazing. I enjoyed sharing life with them so much. However, the one thing that I’ve had for the past 5 months was lacking. I was lacking the community of Christ. I have been blessed for several months with a community of believers who constantly challenge and encourage me in Christ. I knew that my time here would be different. And I knew thats what God wanted. He wanted everything that I had held onto. He wanted the safety nets to be broken and for me to rely on his web of protection. He wanted me to listen to Him…so I did.
I had been reading through a book that my aunt Belinda sent me called Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I had seen many quotes by him for some time and had wanted to read his works. The book is about community. But one thing he says is “Let him who cannot be alone beware of community…But the reverse is also true: Let him who is not in community beware of being alone” (Life Together, p. 77).
This is the lesson I learned in my solitude. One will hurt the community and himself if he cannot stand alone. I have been reliant on other people for a long time. Not just other people but other things that fill my time and steal my devotion and affection. So, working the way that God only can, He stripped all of those things away from me. So I was left with complete strangers, with just my Bible and my heart ready to listen to the Lord.
Bonhoeffer also states that “the mark of solitude is silence as speech is the mark of community.” So since I was lacking community the way I’ve come to know it, I was forced into silence. The sweet silence and the opportunity to listen to God. What a wonderful thing it is! God does speak! Can you dig it? So often I allow things to pollute and invade my thoughts so much that I can no longer hear the voice of the Lord. But this was my chance and I wanted to take it. I’ve never experienced the joy of my salvation like I did over the last few weeks. Never before have I experienced God’s leading in this way and his guidance. So I could say that I was alone for those days, but I won’t. I’ve never felt more surrounded and overwhelmed by God in my entire life. He was there the whole time.
Next post: Seed Planting
