After a grueling 80-something hours of traveling, we made it to Costa Rica safely. It’s nice to have a couple days to recuperate. And what better way to do that in Costa Rica than to spend it at the beach “attempting” to surf. It was an absolute blast aside from getting a head cold. God has been teaching me so much more about quieting down and being still before him. About love and letting it motivate my actions.
What greater way for my Dad to give me a picture of his love than at the beach? As I looked out into the Pacific blue, I reflected on the 8 months that I’ve spent on this trip. How many times did I do things that were prompted by love? Not only love for God, but love for people? I realized that many times I have operated out of obligation. It’s what I’m supposed to do, right? I mean, come on, I’m a missionary!
We get caught up in doing programs or “religious” activity and we miss God in all of it. One thing that has stuck with me since Swaziland is that “lovers outdo doers”. How profound. We come up with this plan. Things that we have to accomplish or do during the day, ministry or not. It could be daily routines, or it could be some big event. The fact is: if it’s not motivated out by love, it’s useless and it becomes just another thing to busy ourselves. One thing I’ve found: the busier I am, the harder it is to hear God’s voice. I hate that! My heart’s desire is to always be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. To always know how to walk things out in love. The Word of God has come alive when Paul talks about being motivated by love:
“If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)
This whole entire trip would be nothing without love. I could give everything I have because it’s what I should do. I could teach and preach because it’s what we missionaries do. But if it’s just going to be because we need something to fill our days out here so that our supporters know that we are “doing” something, then we are missing it. Several times on this trip, I have missed it. How does it change? What prompts us to love?
I am no authority on this whatsoever. My life is filled with broken relationships, mission trips empty of lasting impact, and wasted words. I do know this: He first loved us. Wow. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. What greater love is there? Meditate on that. Meditate on who Christ is. Let it soak into your core. Imagine the pain, the suffering. Imagine the eyes that gaze into yours out of love as his body was broken. That is love. No greater love have I known.
By constantly meeting with my Dad in the morning and spending quality time with him, my heart draws close to his. Not only reading his word, but just sitting in his presence. It transforms us. There is something that occurs in the spiritual realm. A joy overcomes us. You can’t deny it. You can’t pawn it off on something else. It is his touch. The more and more time I spend loving my Father, the more capable I am of TRULY loving others. It flows through my veins. Christ pours himself out. That is my desire. That there be nothing left of my flesh. That I will be in such union with Dad that it will be him that everyone sees.
Then and only then I will be capable of doing far more than what I ever have before. I will be his will on this earth. I will not do things out of obligation. I will not be controlled by religion. Rather, I will be motivated by relationship. That’s where it’s at. This abundant life that we talk about, it’s right there, in the union we have with our Dad. I don’t want to miss it anymore. I want to be with Him. I want to follow him around like a kid following his daddy around tugging on his pant leg. I want to be like him, he’s my role model. I want to boast and say that “my Dad can beat your dad” when the enemy attacks me. He is my everything. I am not me without Him.
May we all take time to examine our lives. If we’re doing things out of obligation without love in our hearts….let’s not do it. I’m sure God would appreciate that more than not representing him fully in love. My heart’s cry is to love these Costa Rican people with an authentic love. I want my heart broken. I’m tired of the emptiness.
My heart is full of joy.
