Well it’s taken me some time to get to this point but I’m here. I’ve thought, prayed, sought council, and listened to understand what the next step is.
Well here it is…
I’m getting married!
Just joking.
Sorry Mom.
For real though, this is something that I’ve thought long and hard on and sought God for. This is also something I don’t exactly want to do but am now choosing into. I desire to follow God above all else and set myself and my heart firmly in His foundation.
So here it is for real this time. I’m making a commitment to not date until after my first year of college. I say it this way simply because it’s easier for you, the reader to understand, but I prefer to think of it differently. This is more than a year without a girlfriend. It’s much deeper than that.
Let me give you a little background on my life before I share what this means to me.
In the years before the Race I was someone consumed by girls attention and approval. I enjoyed the feeling I got from being liked by a girl. There was rarely a season when I wasn’t invested in a girl’s life or she in mine. This isn’t to say that was all that relationships meant to me but it is to say that girls have been a big distraction from God in my life.
On the Race I’ve walked through a gradual but God-oriented identity change and it has really opened my eyes as a Christian to the power inside of me. I’ve grown a lot since I left home back in September of 2014.
Which in short, brings us to now. I’m in my last country and last 60 days of being on the Race – crazy eh?! I’ve been seeking God intently and praying a lot. I’ve always thought it a good idea not to date for the first semester of college to avoid the whole idea of dating for the sake of dating and actually give myself some time to get to know some girls and just make some good friends.
My position on that has shifted through a series of factors like podcasts, God speaking time and time again to me in prayer and God confirming it through others via feedback or encouragement. My desire is now to abstain from dating until the end of my last exam in April 2016.
Why?
The answer is more complicated now than before but in short I feel God calling me to a year of time with Him. It’s no longer to find a girl that I would want to date and eventually marry or to integrate into college well but instead it’s to have more of Jesus. I’m coming from 9 months on the Race of growth – a great season – but I also know I don’t have to be on the Race to have the same growth. All I have to do is to listen and do as He says. For now this means diving deep into Him without distraction – to give Him the gift of a year.
I among others believe that this next year is going to be foundational for my life. I believe God has some big stuff for me. An image Moe, one of my squad leaders, gave me was referring to how she saw my transition from the Race. She saw Jesus standing in my heart amongst this rubble. He was smiling because He just knocked down and dug up the lies and shaky foundation my heart was set upon before the Race. He’s been doing this work while I’ve been on the Race. Now Jesus is excited for what He’s going to build. He says smiling, ‘the dreams I have for this place.’
So that’s where I’m at. Soon I’ll be back home from the Race and moving onto this next chapter. No doubt it will be challenging and I’ll probably deal with things I’ve never dealt with before but I know this is God’s will and that is the best place I can be. I’m so excited for this growth! I’m so excited to see where God will have taken me at the end of my first year! It’s going to be a great time!
I am however asking for your prayers. I know as I step out boldly in an area that I haven’t been bold in before that Satan will be trying to hold me back. I know and claim the victory over that now but I covet your prayers as a covering over me and as a petition before God to have His way and do big things.
Thanks y’all!
Sincerely,
Walking by Faith
