I have been struggling lately.
My timeline for Ireland is off; the Kickstarter page for my poetry project has few backers; my family struggles still; funds for anything and everything are far and few between; my soul longs to meet my future wife….
And so more often than not I find myself disheveled and lost throughout the day. I find the routine of getting up later in the morning (early afternoon) to spend time with the Lord, check Internet stuff, go for my run and to lift, shower, and random things the rest of the day to be mundane and melodramatic. Yet, a lot of times all I hear are the howls of the night (usually during the day) until I just fall to my knees and ask for a reprieve.
I am usually the one who ends up taking my dad to work at 3 or so in the morning and so the cycle of no sleep or sleep through the morning continues. It has become a part of me and yet my soul screams for more through it all.
So, today, yes today, I made the conscious effort to go into 'the inner chamber' (poem on WordPress blog) to meet with my Father and just hug Him. In Scripture, the inner sanctuary is described as the place for the high priest to go to make the sacrifices and offerings for the people. This inner room was partitioned from the outer room by a giant veil.
When Christ gave up His spirit on the cross, saying 'It is finished', the veil was torn in two (Matthew 27:51; Mark 15:38; Luke 23:45) and the High Priest, Jesus Christ, opened up the path for us to have a close and intimate relationship with our Father.
In the inner chamber I went, tears ablaze falling with relentless fervor as I wanted to follow through with the song, "I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe, but couldn't get myself to kneel down, nor dance before my best friend. All I could do was rush to His arms and embrace Him in a hug that had my head on His shoulder and my tears soaking His garment. The craziest part is that I felt His tears light upon my shoulder at the same time.
I looked up and into His eyes and sacrificed all my dreams to Him in that moment. I've never felt more free!!! Indeed, gravity seemed to not have a hold on me. WOW!!
So, I encourage you, readers, to go into the inner chamber and just embrace the King, the Bridegroom. He awaits to embrace you with all the love and tenderness you need. Thank you!
