In a life of unending possibilities it is almost impossible to know which one to pursue if you don\’t know you. It is a staggering thought to realize that most of the world works to live, has little joy in what they do, and finds little peace and contentment outside of work. People are tired, overworked. Relationships are strained and tight. I felt a yearning. My heart tugged for something more.
I took a chance and made a change of pace. I left the comforts of knowing I had a steady paycheck and used a year of my life to serve others around the world. I wasn’t ready to settle.
I came home. Not only was I not ready to settle, I cannot, will not, and don’t even know how to settle anymore. I will not settle with a lack of a life of purpose and a live that leaves me stagnet and discontent.
I remember the moment the light came on in my life. I was not happy. I had the steady job, a place to live, an awesome church, and a wonderful relationship and I was not happy. I was quite qualified for my job and I did it well, but something was off. It did not seem to line up. I had yearnings to head out and discover the world, and its people. My heart came alive when others would talk about what God was doing with Christians around the world. That was the “it” that was missing. I was pushing aside the desires of my heart to live a life I thought I was supposed to have. I was living the American dream instead of my own, slowly over time my dream would disappear. So I took a deep breath and dove into the biggest challenge of my life. I would be the missionary I wanted to be 13 years ago the first time I heard about Jesus through a missionary.
It didn\’t take me long to realize that my heart did not break for one people group, one organization or one need. It broke again and again. It was very clear that my desires were to help send as many people as I could to all the nations of the world, to help work with many existing organizations. I myself could go and I could be a part of equipping and training others in various forms of short and long term missions.
The vision was set in my heart. Jenni Weir, who has been a sister to me this year, was given the same dream. We came along side each other to support the endeavors we had to start a mission’s project. It was not long before God spoke very clearly about working under an organization already established. We excitedly asked Seth Barnes and Andrew Sherman about bringing AIM to Canada. They responded with a resounding “YES!”
So now I am here, day one of searchlight. Why? Because I haven’t one clue on how to start AIM Canada. I have the heart. I have the drive, and the passion and I have mentors and people who have gone before me to help me see this through.
I will be pushed in ways that I didn’t know I could be pushed. This will be another time of growth and transition. But I desperately want it. I crave the uncomfortable. I crave the messy. Wasting the dreams God has given me is not a life I can live. I did the race and that was a huge dream come true, but it was the beginning of a Kingdom dream.
It is so much more than “survive” life, it is about thrive. I want to see people thrive, come alive to their dreams and passion and be mobilized. Searchlight is a place for this to happen. As I have seen my dreams come to pass and now am dreaming beyond my own means, I dare you to dream and dream big.
