world race training camp… where do I even begin hahaha.
two weeks of sleeping in sweaty tents, ice cold bucket showers in the dark, really really smelly porta potties, GEORGIA HEAT, eating wack food, and spending every waking moment with my new family.
while it was extremely uncomfortable and I felt like I didn’t belong at first, those two weeks were the most fruitful weeks of my life.
with that being said, I’m going to dive into a few things that the Lord taught me in the past two weeks.
1. the first few days for me were SO ROUGH. I felt so unworthy of this calling and that I wasn’t enough for my team or for the lord. through that, I got to this place where I had to be completely and utterly reliant on Him. I had to trust that he brought me there for a reason, and that he wasn’t going to leave me. I had to make Jesus my only source of strength get through the day. and having to be that dependent on the lord has brought me to such a beautiful place with Him.
2. I guess I went in to training camp having expectations as to how I would feel. when I didn’t feel the way I thought I would, doubt came flooding in. until one night, during worship, I was talking to the lord and told him “I just need to know that this is where I’m supposed to be. I’m so tired of being afraid.” and almost immediately I heard Him say “but can’t you see. I’ve brought you this far when you didn’t even think you would make it here.” and that was it. I knew that my god had me right where he wanted me.
as the days went on, the fear and doubt about my calling started to leave, while more and more peace started to seep in. as the fear of being inadequate for my squad or not making good friendships left, the feeling of family like no other replaced it. when I got over myself and laid my insecurities down at the feet of Jesus, he opened my eyes to god ordained friendships like no other! I made some of my best friends ever in those TWO WEEKS!
3. I went in to training camp with tons of walls between the lord and I, and had him in a box. a box of “my own understanding” i guess you could say. I thought God was only as big as my mind could make him. and man oh man. did he crush that box. one of our speakers, Deon, said something like “if you make God only as big as your understanding, then He’s not your God. he’s an idol.” that quote struck me to my core, because I knew that I had made the lord only as big as my understanding. so I went into the rest of the night with an open mind, ready to see the lord do things I couldn’t comprehend in my own mind. that night, he was faithful to heal 20+ people in front of me! I’ve seen God heal strangers, friends, and myself with my own eyes.
before that night, I was one of those people that had heard that God still heals people if you ask, but it was really hard for me to believe. but now?! now, I’ve seen the miracles of the lord. now, I know that my God is a god who listens, heals, and speaks. I have all that confidence in the world that I serve a king who is faithful.
4. the truth is that the lord is so much bigger than our understanding. he’s so much bigger than we could ever imagine. he can’t be tamed. he’s not safe. he’s dangerous. but man oh man, he is good.
5. as for now, all the walls between the lord and I that I went to camp with, have been torn down. there are no walls between us. he’s not in a box anymore. it’s all out in the open now. its weird. its uncomfortable. but oh my goodness is it beautiful.
thats all for now. thanks so much for reading.
Next stop!! Jeffreys bay, South Africa!!
yours truly
Anna
