Death sucks.
That’s really all I’ve been able to say these past few days – this past year in fact. Last September death hit me for the first time in the place you don’t want it to hit you. It hit me in my family. Almost exactly a year ago my grandmother on my dad’s side passed away. It wasn’t totally unexpected but it was my first experience of losing a close family member… one that I can remember anyway.
Then in April of this year, just 7 months after my first grandmother passed away my mom’s mom died. Her passing was less expected and hit me harder. I actually wrote a blog about it a few months ago, deja vu I guess.
Two grandmas in 7 months. Wow. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there.
About two weeks ago my mom’s dad had a pretty nasty fall and hurt his neck. He actually fractured two vertebrae in his neck which required surgery. To make a long story short, he came out of the surgery well and it honestly looked like he was going to make a full recovery. But our relief was short-lived. Not long after the surgery, my grandfather experienced a pretty massive stroke and the doctors told my family that he only had a few days to live.
I was on vacation with friends of mine in Nashville when my sister called to tell me the news. It shook me. Before he fell my grandfather (Poppop as we called him) was in great shape. Mentally sharp, great sense of humor, still driving around town, moved well, and lived independently with my “step-grandma” (she’s just as much family as my other grandmothers were… pretty much my third grandma). Anyway, I was confident that God was going to do a big miracle. As I understood it, even if Poppop regained the strength to breathe on his own (a miracle in itself) it was pretty much a fact that his life, motor skills, and memory would have been severely affected. But that didn’t matter to me. What mattered was spreading the word, asking friends to pray, and expecting God to heal.
But He didn’t heal.
Poppop passed away 6 days ago now and I’m sitting here writing this blog on the morning of his funeral. In a few moments, I’ll drive to the funeral home with my family, hug relatives, listen to the nice things people have to say, drive to the cemetery, and say goodbye one final time as they lay him to rest. Yeah, like I said… death sucks.
I’m not painting this picture to try and gain sympathy and in no way do I think my situation is more painful than someone else’s. Rather, I’m painting this picture because I want to remind you that life is fragile. Scripture describes life as a vapor. Think your breath in the winter or a steamed up little teapot – one moment that vapor is right in front of you, the next it’s gone. Woah.
I don’t know about you, but I often get caught up in living life selfishly and foolishly. I spend so much time being self-absorbed. I waste countless hours, I don’t always make time for family and friends as I should, nor do I always enjoy fellowship with Jesus in the way He desires me to. This past year has been a major wake up call. Losing 3 grandparents has been a major life check and a chance for me to reevaluate how I spend my time, who I spend my time on, and what my actual priorities should be.
Maybe that’s the blessing of death.
The blessing of reevaluating the trajectory of your own life. The blessing of coming together with family. The blessing of being there for one another. The blessing of remembering how much we’ve been blessed with in life and the people we’ve been fortunate to know. The blessing of being able to relate and empathize with those who have also experienced loss and will experience loss. The blessing of imagining heaven and what eternal life is like in the presence of our loving and glorious Father.
7 months ago I was staying at Poppop’s house while my family was here in Philadelphia attending my grandmother’s funeral. I didn’t know it was going to be the last memory with Poppop but boy was it a good one. I connected with him in a new way, had great conversation, laughed with him, and even discussed the Bible with him… it was the only spiritual conversation I’ve had with him.
Yes, I wish I had more time to connect with my grandfather. I wish he was still here. I wish I could visit him next year and tell him about my travels. I wish I could see that classic sparkle in his eye at my wedding one day. I wish I could hear his laugh one more time. I wish a lot of things… but I’m also thankful for a lot of things. I’m thankful for the time I did have with Poppop. For the memories we did make together. I’m thankful for that last visit, and I’m thankful for the reminder… the reminder to hold tight to the people you love. So here’s to life, to family, and to making memories.
Here’s to Poppop.
