one of the views i miss the most from the race – it held anticipation, grief, and peace all from one little window.
for ten months, travel days best friend was shock. we were jumping time zones, leaving one culture that finally felt normal to be fully immersed into a new one, and on top of that had little to no sleep.
but i wouldn’t change travel days for anything. they taught me how to say both goodbye and hello (usually in different languages ha). it was impossible to have travel day without your hands held open, you never knew if your plane would take off on time, if your luggage would make it to the destination, or who you would be sitting by. but travel day brought a sense of blind faith and assured hope. you knew to trust the pilot that he would handle take off and landing.
reflecting today has brought new insights in how travel days are a lot like my life right now. coming home from the race early was unexpected, it wasn’t what i wanted, and i wasn’t ready (are we ever ready though?) i’ve been back in the states for one month today, it’s kind of felt like an insanely long travel day. it has had grief of saying goodbye to a beautiful 10 months and the culture that the race produced, as well as saying hello to the highly anticipate life back in america (which is a different life than what i left 10 months ago), and yet I know i still have this peace much life flying through the clouds that as the days pass i still know who holds my days.
it doesn’t mean every day is good because they for sure aren’t – but not every travel day was either (cough cough india) & all honesty here some days suck. however even in the the crappy days i know i only see a small glimpse of it all. i only have a small window to see the full picture. and im okay with that. im glad i don’t have the whole picture, because that’s not my job. my job is just to know how much my papa loves me and give that love away. it’s a simple enough concept and yet i mess it up a lot. but bam then grace comes in.
i dont know where im going with this, and honestly if you kept reading to this point i just wanna let you know that you’re loved and that it’s okay to feel all the things (and yet nothing at all), and just take it day by day and know that you’re precious to papa. that’s all friends, i can’t wait for a travel day that involves a different destination than the mitten, but until then ill just keep learning what born you be loved looks like. maybe you will too? – kj
