The last few months have been so uncomfortable. In the physical, I have packed up the most comfortable and freeing living space I’ve ever had, leaving behind every belonging (and person) that doesn’t fit in my two backpacks. In the emotional, I have lost a few relationships that I honestly thought were going to be life-long. Mentally, I’ve been trying to get all the doctors appointments, documents, and gear ready to serve&camp for a year. Financially, fundraising is at least a part-time job that surely has challenged me (and taken over my social media.) Lastly, spiritually preparing to live and serve as a missionary is an extremely humble blessing.
All that to say, I made it to training camp. I am in person with my team! (^Please enjoy this snapshot of camp here: the beautiful amidst the stinky;) There is no where I would rather be, yet I am still extremely uncomfortable. Have you ever felt this way? You’ve wanted the challenge, prepared for the journey, and gotten there only to find you don’t actually feel ready. *big sigh of relief if I’m not the only one*
Well, feel ready or not, I am claiming my eagerness. Earlier this week, I was having a conversation with God. I said.. “I may not feel ready, but I AM willing.” He gave me this sense of “I know,” then quickly continued “have a willing posture too.” My first instinct was to examine my current physical posture, and I did so to find my hands folded&my back slumped. So I quickly rolled my shoulders back and opened my hands up. Then I relaxed with a soft smile; I’m so grateful for His correction.
See it’s one thing to just be claiming something, but another to actually show up with the right attitude. Looking back over the last few months, I can see I’ve been learning to make space for the uncomfortable. And invite God in to be my comfort. It’s good to grieve in uncomfortable spaces, it’s healthy to prepare, and it’s totally okay to not feel at home in a new place. But before, I would have looked to a multitude of things and people to help “deal” with the uncomfortable, knowing He wanted to be the first response.
He just wants to sit with me. He wants to hold me close, help me through, fill me with His peace and truth! So the last few months I’ve been trying to look to Him first-give Him the first word. He always responds with a fresh breath, a kind word from a friend, tender hugs, scripture, a poem, and a million other caring ways. I truly cannot fathom all of the ways I’m going to get to invite God in this year, and I am here for it.
Where can you invite God in as your first response?
Lots of love from Training Camp,
Shelby B. Sly
PS I’m still in need of partners to continue on the field past April. That can look like monthly partnerships or one-time donations. Reach out with questions and follow this link to contribute: Donate!
