As you can tell from this title, I’ve had a total perspective shift.
Being in a different country has made me realize how much I put God in a box. I have always known about the vastness of God, but never fully realized and understood it until I went to Costa Rica. This week, I’ve had to make efforts to change certain thoughts and beliefs I’ve had about who God is; I built this box in my head, trying to squish God in there, that I didn’t even realize I made.
I’m learning that evangelism looks different than I thought. Serving looks different than I thought. My life, in general, is looking much different than I had pictured it was going to look like at this point.
God is wrecking my life in the most wonderful and powerful way. I feel that I am breaking. Sometimes I am confused, sometimes I’m convicted of beliefs that I have about God that are limiting, and sometimes, my pride is hurt because I am realizing that I am never finished learning about who God is and I don’t have all the answers.
But in the breaking, God is removing the box I put around Him, and changing my perception of Him. He is taking out some false and limiting beliefs that I’ve had, and putting in pieces of truth. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to grasp. I often relate characteristics of God to people, (ex: if I’ve felt love from a father, it helps me to understand how he loves). I’ve realized that this has been damaging me though, and I haven’t realized it. People are never perfect. When I relate love from a father, for example, to God the father, that is not a good comparison, nor a fair one. My father is wonderful and I love him with all my heart. However, my father is human and he doesn’t love at all the same way the God of the universe loves. It’s limiting my belief of who God is and how big He actually is, and this is just one example.
He is breaking me so that He can rebuild me into the person that He wants me to be in Him. I’m having to make a daily decision to sacrifice myself, my body, my beliefs, my desires, to God. My heart isn’t quite there yet, but I believe it will catch up. Where my heart and my head are in alignment however, is in the fact that God is good. God loves me. God loves the work we are doing with Him. God loves me so much that He sent Jesus to die for me. God called me here, to Jaco, to serve Him by loving his people, by planting seeds, by serving the community, by making his name known, and showing what the Kingdom is.
This week, we went to a new park to totally clean it up. It is in the middle of government housing, and there are many children. We have gotten to play, love, and talk with them this whole week. I’ve gotten to talk to them a little bit about Jesus, as much as I can in Spanish, and the rest is having to come from my actions. And this week, I have become okay with that. Loving them in this way is meeting them exactly where they are. Loving them this way is evangelism, because I can witness to them by showing them that God is love.
Paul talks a lot in Acts about meeting people where they are when evangelizing, and this is what I’m learning when it comes to evangelizing on this trip. I realized that evangelism can look like a lot of different things, and after coming to Costa Rica, I realized that was another thing I was putting in a box. I thought evangelism looked one way, and that was it. As I’ve been here for almost two weeks now, that is one of the false beliefs that God is taking away and combating with His truth. Because of this, I feel more joy and purpose in the work I am doing.
So, in conclusion, this week God has been showing me that I am limiting Him, the joy I experience in Him, and the evangelical work I can do by putting Him in a box. My perspective on what this trip is going to look like, and what God is going to look like has changed. And I’m so grateful for it. I am beginning to have a deeper understanding of who God is, and how incomprehensible His love is due to the grandness of it.
I’ve got a lot more thoughts and stories of things I’m experiencing, and I wish I could fit it all into one blog. Please feel free to reach out to me if you want to hear more! Have a wonderful week!
