Welcome to my very first blog from training camp here in Gainesville, Georgia! These past two months I’ve been trying to think of the best way to sum up my time here so far, & I figured that I would share 3 of my biggest takeaways since arriving here on campus.
1. I can do hard things.
Early on in training camp, we did the long-awaited fitness hike. This was a 2.2 mile hike wearing our 50 pound packs that had to be completed in under 38 minutes. The path was a lot of uphill & downhill, between bumpy gravel & slippery Georgia clay. There were lots of sweat & tears, & I learned a lot about myself that day.
I don’t remember much from the hike, & I’m not sure if that is a result of dehydration or just wanting to forget, but there are two things that I can recall clearly; my words, & the words of those around me.
For all 38 of those minutes, I am almost positive that I only spoke two words over myself, again & again. Those words were, “I can’t.” I walked into the hike feeling hopeless, defeated & scared. I didn’t believe that I could do hard things. I didn’t want to even think that I might be able to finish it, because I was afraid to fail.
Thankfully, I am surrounded by the most amazing community I ever could have asked for. They were so incredibly encouraging the whole time; I have truly never felt so loved & supported by the people around me. In those moments, I began to realize just how grateful I was to have such amazing brothers & sisters by my side as we entered this brand new season together.
& In case you were wondering, with their support, I was able to finish that fitness hike strong.
2. Beauty is in the eye of the Creator.
One of the coolest things about living in tents is that there are almost no mirrors here on campus. Sometimes you’ll catch a glimpse of your reflection in the foggy porta-potty mirror or the glass doors outside of the training center room, but that’s about it.
Though it was an interesting transition, I think it’s safe to say we are all thankful for this aspect of life here at training camp. There is a lot of freedom that comes with letting go of our worldly expectations of beauty. I’ve found that when you’re less focused on what you look like on the outside, you begin to take more notice of the beauty within those around you. I’ve seen the hearts of the young men & women around me in a way that I’ve never been able to before. I’ve seen glimpses of how the Lord views them, & that is so much more beautiful than anything I can see with my eyes.
Along with these revelations, there has been a lot of surrendering happening here on campus. Two of my sweet friends, Lauren & Camille, have stepped out in obedience & shaved their heads. They both felt that the Lord was inviting them to completely surrender that part of their ‘beauty’ & to rely fully on Him for their confidence. If anything, I think their beauty was amplified through their acts of obedience. These young women inspire me everyday as they press into what the Lord says about who they are.
3. He delights in the small details.
Earlier this month, I received a word from the Lord that He was going to redeem dancing for me. Through this promise, I was reminded of Psalm 30:11-12.
“You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have taken off my sackcloth & clothed me with joy, that my soul may sing praise to You & not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.”
If you know me, you know that dancing has never been my thing. Over the years, it has honestly developed into a very real fear of mine. I have avoided it at all costs & have missed out on so many fun memories because of this fear.
That being said, I’m sure you can imagine my surprise when the Lord shared with me that this was something He wanted to walk me through.
Since arriving here on campus, dancing has come up so much more often than I ever would have imagined. My worst nightmare. I sat out on two-stepping lessons & hid in the porta-potties for entire Zumba sessions just so that I would not have to face this fear of dancing.
Slowly but surely, though, I could feel the Lord guiding me through really working through this fear I’ve been holding onto for so long. I felt the healthy discomfort of opening up wounds I had been covering up for far too long. My heart began to soften &, though it may seem like a small victory, I will never forget the night that I decided that I would let the Lord take my mourning & allow Him to replace it with dancing.
It’s been a slow process, & it’s not something that has changed overnight, but I’ve gone from crying at the thought alone of having to dance to being able to join my friends on the floor for a slow song or two.
It’s not something I would have expected, nor was it a detail that I even thought the Lord was attentive to, but it has been the beginning of a very beautiful transformation.
