Hey friends!
I hope you are all doing so well 🙂 I just wanted to hop on my blog to give you a little glimpse into my life, and highlight some of the rad ways the Lord has moved in my life since I moved to San Diego (four years ago!) with a mini series 🙂 I’m not going to highlight every month, but the first two months in SD were important.
I was born in good ol’ California, and while I have lived here most of my life, I have also lived in Wyoming, Ohio, Missouri, and Colorado 🙂
I was living in Colorado back in 2015 with my family when we got a call in August that my grandma was passing, and my mom’s family needed help caring for her. Long story short, I packed all my stuff and moved back to California to live at my grandma’s until she passed away in October that year.
There was a lot that happened since my grandma passed and May, but by May 16th 2016, I moved back to San Diego to live with my friends Jane and Willie to be their live-in nanny for the summer. It was the best thing that could have happened to me, and it tied into my dream of living here again. At the time, I was suffering from severe anxiety and depression, and felt pretty hopeless. But God never left me, and little did I know the wild, beautiful ride He’d lead me on since being back 🙂
Part 1: May & June 2016
There’s something so comforting about a hot shower after a long day, except for me, that long day felt like years. Moving in with my friends felt like warm water over my tired soul. I had nothing left, and all I could do was crumple at their mercy. Let’s just say: they are family now. I know now that I needed to be in their home, and I don’t think it could have been any other family.
Jane wrapped me in a blanket of love and truth. She never let me stay who I was, which required a ton of humility on my part. It’s true that I had been through a lot at this point, but I needed to be honest with myself about my own self-victimization. If I didn’t choose to get better, I would be stuck in my cycles of depression and anxiety.
That was the very first truth I remember hearing. Jane later put me in connection with a friend of hers, Rheanna to nanny for them. I started part-time in June. My first day with Rheanna, she had a cancellation with one of her students, and spent the time talking with me and praying over me. There’s two things she said that stood out to me and changed me.
The first, she commanded the spirit causing me fear to leave me (in Jesus’ name). I didn’t know what to think of my anxiety, but I never thought it could be demonic. Later, I learned to take hold of my authority, and now I know whenever it’s demonic.
The second and perhaps most life changing. She got a vision from the Holy Spirit that looked like this: there was a mountain of “stuff” — life stuff. And then there was little ol’ me at the bottom, frantically trying to sort through it all (It was hard for me to put into words what my mind was like; I was amazed at how accurate that was. I was so overwhelmed with everything). She then said that God was sitting on His throne, and all those things I was trying to sort were already sorted and laid out in front of Him — in front of His throne. All I needed to do was let Him take care of me. I remember sobbing uncontrollably at those words. God just wanted to take care of me? I could relax? My faith was restored in that moment. I gave my life to Him — that mountain — right there. And man, did He take that mountain.
These truths reset my faith in God and set the foundation for my healing journey. It would be a long road to get to where I am today, but God hasn’t left me, and He certainly has had everything laid out, even when I’ve made mistakes. I’ll be posting another blog soon with some more updates on God’s movement, so keep a lookout! I’m excited to share what God has done in my life with you! Love you, friends! Thanks for reading 🙂
