Morning Reminders
This morning I was awaken at 4:30 am. Not being a morning person I struggled to try to sleep some more. However God knew I needed more time with him. I laid awake praying to God.
The slow sound of rain rolling down the roof matches the steady stream of tears on my wet face. My heart has grown weary. Saying goodbyes have been the constant for me these past few months. Just the same yesterday another goodbye found me. A lot of emotions and processing with friends came with this goodbye. However this morning being awakened by God, I knew it was time to process with him.
When praying I was laying out all my thoughts and feelings. I got to the end of my rant/pity party and asked God to show me what I basically needed in that moment. I saw God holding me as a child. Rocking me back and forth and feeding me a bottle. I was peaceful and still. Then it flashed to me being a small child running around, but God was holding my hand. As I ran I kept getting older and older but No matter where I ran God was always holding on. Then I stopped running and eventually embraced and gave God the biggest hug and rested in his arms again.
Oh God I thank you for this reminder knowing that no matter where people run you are always there holding onto them waiting for them to stop and embrace you. Thank you for reminding me that the prayers and rants just builds our relationship stronger. Thank you for allowing me to embrace you despite all the running. My father thank you for always holding on to my hand. Although the times may get challenging I know I will never have to say Goodbye to you. I know I can run hard but you will always be there waiting for me.
