hey there 🙂
so last week i lost my water bottle.
& in the past it’s actually found it’s way back to me. & it’s just somehow stuck around with me for almost five years now, so i’ve been mourning it just a little bit. even though it’s just a plastic nalgene that i bought for a dollar at a younglife lost & found sale (a little ironic that’s where i found it i know). there’s just been some life lived alongside that water bottle. plus it was glow in the dark.
anywhos the loss of my water bottle has made me think this week about other things i’ve lost.
while on the race i’ve lost a lot a lot of things. not really many physical things (except the few i’ve lost to mold, yikeees), but SO many other things i was carrying in my heart. & with the end in sight, i’ve just been reflecting with my Father all of transformation of the past eight months. sometimes i forget about the radical changes in my heart, just because they’ve mostly been gradual, but there truly are some big rocks i’ve rolled away. & i’ve just uncovered some really rad places in my heart because of it.
here’s a few things i’ve lost:
- perfection & striving
- the old, small box i used to keep God in
- the fear i had surrounding my voice
- unauthentic worship
by no means have i figured much of anything out, but i have learned to simply aim for progress, not perfection. & obviously sometimes lost things turn up again once in a while, but i’m really glad that some stuff stays lost. i’d be lying if i said i walk in my identity perfectly, but i am getting a little closer everyday to the fullness God has for me (i hope you are too). & that’s more than enough for me.
as i’ve seen myself lessen, & more of Jesus grow within me i’ve also found some pretty cool stuff.
here’s a few things i’ve found:
- the ability to seek understanding
- vulnerability & honesty
- how to invite people to God’s table & see His heart with them there
- how to see the beauty in what God has made for us & in us
& let me just say that this is a fraction of what i’ve found with God. a very small fragment. it’s what i can offer you for today, but God doesn’t give His heart in pieces y’all. He gives it all. & dude there’s a crazy amount to try & comprehend, but we get to start with Him, & continue for eternity. dang y’all. that’s an incredibly fun & sweet adventure to be a part of.
this morning as i listened to the steady downpour of the rain in my jungle home, i read something at the end of John that made me smile.
“Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for all the books that would be written.” John 21v25
what a sweet way to end the gospel of John & wrap that season up. i’m also finding it as a compliment to the end/beginning of the season i’m living now.
there’s a large part of my heart that can’t wait to hear all the unheard stories of what Jesus did when He walked on earth. & the other part of my heart absolutely can’t wait to hear about all the ways He’s moved around me that i haven’t yet noticed. that’s just going to be so fun.
i’m comforted & glad to know there aren’t enough words & there isn’t even enough space to try & tell all of the things He’s done (& is doing). i’m pretty excited to keep losing & finding more though.
much love,
erika
