hey there! welcome to the table. i saved you a seat, friend!
i’ve been thinking & reflecting this week on all that jesus and i have walked through these past three months, & it honestly makes my mind swirl a bit because i’ve learned so much. my first instinct when sitting down to write this blog was to grab my journal to remember everything, but then i realized it was a bit ironic when i considered what i actually wanted to dive into with you.
when i first arrived on the AIM campus i was pretty overwhelmed to be honest. there was more than one new thing to be sure, but also i was just being struck hard by God’s enormity, a concept my brain had been trying to understand for years. the difficult thing is that God’s not a concept. thankfully, God began to disrupt & rearrange my notions of who He was/is very quickly & our relationship began to shift dramatically. those first few weeks were filled with reminders to simply breathe and sit in His presence. i came as i was, filled to the brim with questions, hoping to draw new conclusions & be struck with profound knowledge about who God is & what He is about. i wanted a firm grasp on God, but obviously those hopes were kinda dashed.
one of the first things i read in my bible there was ecclesiastes & it was pretty good timing. i definitely didn’t understand all of it that first time i read it, & i still don’t now, but that itself was part of the lesson i was learning. the author writes a lot (38 times but who’s counting?) about this idea of hevel, which gets translated into meaningless most often, but that doesn’t super capture the heart of the word. in its original form hevel really means vapor, or smoke & the author uses it to focus our attention on the way humans seek meaning & fulfillment in everything besides God. in the last chapter the author writes, “Of making books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh.” (12v12) simply meaning that books & studying don’t hold all the answers of life (not so shocking i know).
when i read ecclesiastes God gave my heart a gentle reminder to slow down and actually create space for Him. to recognize the distinct difference between knowledge & wisdom. to give over swirling, overwhelming thoughts. to invite Him in. to celebrate small, holy moments as gifts. to be okay with having lots of “i don’t know” answers instead of concrete ones because in reality i’d much much rather sit with God, the creator of all things, than chase after the wind. i’d much rather learn to rest in a posture of reverence & awe of His deep, deep love. even now it’s difficult for me to distill my thoughts down, but i’ve gleaned so much more when i make room for Him to work. our teachings & conversation in Georgia offered way more insight when i stopped inserting myself, & allowed God in. & i honestly still find His love overwhelming, but in a good way.
i pray His love and heart for us overwhelms you too.
love you much,
erika
update: somehow in my last blog i forgot to mention we’re launching to guatemala in january!! our squad heads out january 7th & we’re stoked about it! as launch approaches, so does my final deadline on january 15th to be fully funded. my last little push for fundraising is $1,342 which is crazy. big big thanks to everyone who has supported me financially and through prayer. please prayerfully consider supporting me! this could also look like sharing my blog with your mom, brother, dog, uncle or grandma.
