hey all! I know I haven’t put out a blog in a hot minute, but here we are!
life over the past month has been a little hectic and quite hard. I’m learning to live wherever my feet are, and learning to grow with the resources I have available to me at the moment.
I’m currently sitting on my couch in my hometown, Hampton, IA. I got here this last Tuesday, and will be here until January 3rd, 2021. I was supposed to be at campus until December 15th, but due to Covid-19 outbreaks within the squads, I was sent home early during thanksgiving break. so, I’m home for a whole month!
what I’ve learned:
to be able to say that I learned something and to be able to put that into words over a computer screen, is very challenging and difficult. even when people ask in person, it’s still very hard to explain what I’ve all learned over the past 3 months. I have learned so much and have grown so much, it’s kind of unreal, really. I’ll attempt to describe my heart and all the changes that have happened, but it might be difficult to understand. although I have learned a lot, here are the 3 main things that have really stuck with me.
1. growth is not linear.
– over the past 3 months, I’ve learned that growth isn’t linear. you’re going to make mistakes, feel like you’re low, and not feel the Lord’s presence next to you. while being in Gainesville, I have most definitely felt like the Lord wasn’t with me. I was missing my family, things had come up that were so difficult to overcome, I felt less-than, and compared myself to every person on the squad. I was feeling jealousy and feelings that weren’t from the Lord. I kept asking myself, “why am I still feeling this way? why do I struggle with these things still? why do I still have temptation?” but then after asking all of these questions, my leaders came back and told me that growth isn’t linear. you are going to have highs and lows, but all that matters is that you’re still moving forward. you’re still fighting the enemy when it comes to temptation, and comparison, and feelings. just because we love the Lord and He’s in our lives, doesn’t make us perfect. we’re still human and we’re still going to struggle. there’s this quote that I really like by Andy Andrews, and it goes like this, “Everybody wants to reach the peak, but there is no growth on the top of a mountain. It is in the valley that we slog through, the lush grass and rich soil, learning and becoming what enables us to summit life’s next peak.” so, if you’re in the valley right now, I hope this gives you a bit of faith in knowing that you’re learning something and that you’ll get to the top of the mountain someday soon.
2. you HAVE to pick up your cross every. single. day.
– I first heard this statement from a man named Dion. Dion is a speaker with the World Race: Gap Year, and is absolutely incredible. his messages hit you to the core, trust me. when I first heard this, I didn’t quite understand what it meant. picking up your cross? like, what.
but then during my 3 months on campus and even being home now, I’m realizing what that actually means. to me, it means living your life for Christ every single day. putting down your wants, desires, and feelings, and searching for the Lord and what he says about your life and what that should look like. making time, space, and being dedicated to Him. the days you don’t want to read your Bible, or pray, or listen to worship music… you do it. you do it because you put down your own personal desires and wants; for the King of Kings, the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. you do it because He deserves it. and that’s all.
3. COMMUNITY!!!!!!!!
– AHHH this one I cannot stress enough!!!!!!! YOUR COMMUNITY IS SO IMPORTANT TO YOUR SUCCESS, FEELINGS, GROWTH, AND LIFE!!!!!!!! I have met an astounding community over the past 3 months. the staff at AIM, the racers themselves, and the leaders have impacted this journey in INSANE ways. the way they love you unconditionally, the way they pursue you, and the way they fill your cup each and every day is beyond me. who you surround yourself with, is who you will become. and it’s so, so true. the way I know this, is because I’ve been picking up things from my squamates, and the little things they do. no matter if it’s sing-talking (hard to explain) or just little things they say and do; I do them and I picked those up.
overall, y’all, surround yourself with people who will give you life. people who will love you endlessly, who push you to become a better person for yourself and for the Lord, and who want you to change. people who will give you feedback, people who will push you out of your comfort zone, and people who all have the same goal: to look more like Jesus. these are the people you want in your life, and I’m beyond glad that I have the opportunity to know these people, love these people, and live with these people.
so I’ve also learned a ton more, and I’ll be writing more blogs soon. continue praying for all the squads as we (hopefully!) launch January 3rd to our countries!!! for my squad, we get the privilege of going to QUITO, ECUADOR to spread the good news and love on God’s people. thank you all so much for the love and support. I’ll see all of you around soon!!!! <3 love y’all.
