Hello friends!!!
I am F I N A L L Y through holidays and launch and on my way to our first stop, Roswell GA! So my friends, it’s officially time for me to die.
Not literally; just to myself.
I have to start living outside my comfort zone, and outside my selfishness. And honestly? It’s not going to be fun. Dying to yourself is painful, and exposes things you don’t want to know about yourself.
Over the years, the Lord has confirmed to me that one of my spiritual gifts is prophecy. Yay! So fun! But also: AAAAAH!!!!! WHAT IF I’M WRONG THIS IS SO MUCH PRESSURE. I have questioned myself and my ability to hear from the Lord every single time I’ve prophesied over someone. My confidence has grown, sure, but it’s still scary to speak to someone in that context. Honestly it would just be easier to not prophesy and keep it to myself. Bury that gift in the ground, hide it under a bushel, ya know? But that’s not why God gave it to me. I have to die to myself to walk in obedience.
Give me something for the pain, and let me die.
In my personal time with the Lord leading up to launch, I felt like He was telling me what to except in this area next year on the World Race. First, He told me to read the major prophets (Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel) which I thought was super cool because I was already reading Ezekiel.
And then the Lord said “I’m going to take you beyond what is comfortable with prophecy this year.”
Which I did not care for at all because I read the part in Ezekiel where the Lord told our man Zeke to LIE ON HIS SIDE FOR 390 DAYS and then on his OTHER side for 40 DAYS to symbolize bearing the sins of Israel and Judah (Ezekiel 4).
And y’all… I do not want to do that. But it would definitely take me out of my comfort zone.
Give me something for the pain, and let me die.
Our last night at launch (last night), we had an extended worship time. And y’all I LOVE worship time. I purposely chose my church in Rochester because the worship is so good. I love losing myself in praise for my God. And this might be the last time I get super quality worship; I don’t what kind of churches we’ll be at next year. But if the worship sucks? (Don’t judge me. We’ve all sat through that worship set and actually prayed for it to be over because it was so bad and awkward and uncomfortable an downright painful) This is a dumb little selfish thing I’m gonna have to get over; you can worship God anywhere because He is worthy of all praise. Even if it sounds bad to me.
Give me something for the pain, and let me die.
I spent that whole hour of worship time praying for our coaches before we left, (my current FAVORITE worship song playing in the background, and I didn’t get to participate. What a bummer) and then when we went to worship, I got through one song and the Lord told me that I needed to start writing down prophetic words for our sister squad that’s going over seas. So I missed worship. But honestly? It was a gift. The words were a gift to them, but they were also for me. Getting prophetic words is like getting a little glimpse into the calling God has for someone, and the work He is doing in their lives. It’s so beautiful and so precious to hear directly from the Lord all the goo things He has for the people you care about. This part of dying to myself? It wasn’t painful. It was amazing.
Give me something for the pain, and let me die.
The other thing I felt like the Lord has been telling me about living prophetically is fasting. He has told me that I will need to fast 3 days out of the week every week. Y’all. I love food. We’re gonna be down south for like 3 months, and I. Want. Fried. Chicken. We’ll be on the west coast, and I want In-N-Out and sushi. I love to eat. I want to try everything. We’ll be in Texas, right next to Mexico! I want tacos. And You want me to FAST? F A S T??? On the WEEKENDS??? Because oh yeah, I felt He was saying that it couldn’t be just any days out of the week; it has to be consecutive and on the weekends. My last meal will be Thursday dinner, and I won’t eat again until Sunday lunch/after church. Sound familiar?
Those are the days that Jesus was in the tomb.
He’s asking me to live like a dead man, and rely on Him for my nourishment and strength. It’s a prophetic symbol. The Lord wants to bring life back to the U.S. He says to dry bones “Come alive!” He calls to the broken hearts “Be healed!” He calls to the dead “Rise!” Revival is coming, and I can be a part of it if I die to myself, and rise with Him.
Give me something for the pain, and let me die.
Paul says in Philippians, “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
(Philippians 1:20-21, NIV)
Give me something for the pain, and let me die.
Except… I don’t need anything, and the pain is only brief. Anything the Lord asks of me is a privilege to live out. The pain is worth every good thing He wants to do in my life and in our nation. So if that means I have to die to myself and be inconvenienced? Sit through questionable worship? Be hungry for 3 days? Worth it, for the sake of contending for Christ in the spiritual realm. I had a friend who used to say “Jesus didn’t come to confirm theologies, He came to make dead men live.” [Paraphrased]
This is why it is said:
“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
(Ephesians 5:14, NIV)
Let’s see revival together.
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