Hey y’all!
So much growth has happened since being in Guatemala, and it’s only been about 2 weeks! Three of the main things the Lord has been teaching me is freedom, purity, and what worship truly is.
Freedom:
Back in December, I wrote a blog titled “Free.” (you should click the link and read it if you haven’t). The night I talked about in that blog, was one of the biggest spiritual revelations and encounters I’ve ever had with God where I was able to finally understand what freedom in God’s love really was. Within the past couple weeks of being in Guatemala, the topic of freedom has come up again, much to my frustration. Questions started surfacing of, “what the heck God? Why am I still dealing with freedom? I already checked that box off the list, I should be learning something else. Why am I still struggling with living out freedom?” I simply just didn’t feel free emotionally like I thought I should. I mean, I already went through this, I should be done with freedom…right? WRONG! What God has been speaking to me is how freedom isn’t a destination, it’s a journey, a constant walk with the Lord. I needed to stop looking at the continuous learning journey as a burden and take it as an opportunity to grow with God because He feels honored and loves to be able to step in and show up for me if I would just let Him.
So, after talking it over with God, I decided to get BAPTIZED!!! I wanted my baptism to signify the start of this eternal journey with the Father and saying yes to learning how to walk in freedom alongside Him for the rest of my life.
Pure:
This was never a word I’ve really thought about or really considered as a way to describe myself before. But, it was something God had spoken to one of the base staff about me on the first night we spent in Guatemala. After this person gave me this word, I was confused and a little bit shocked and continued to ask how they saw that in me. Explaining they “saw a pure heart in me, one found in a daughter of the King,” I thanked them and God, but didn’t think much more of it in terms of really letting it be a part of my identity. Pure? Yeah, that’s what I know because that’s what God says I am, but did I really feel it or believe it in my heart? Not so much.
Fast forward a few days and one of my teammates, Abby, gives me a word she heard from the Lord about me being white as snow, which of course is referenced in a few bible verses about our sins being washed white as snow (Isaiah 1:18, Psalm 51:7).
Worship:
Another thing that I’ve been learning lately is what worship truly is. Sometimes during worship or simply just my daily quiet time with God, I feel like I’m going through the motions; I try my hardest not to because I want it to actually mean something, but my emotional connection to worship, I simply just don’t feel it. But something that God told me was that worship is more than just singing and feeling so emotional you cry. Worship can be simply just sitting with God, doing absolutely nothing, and just resting in His presence. You want to know why? Because no matter what I’m feeling, no matter if I feel like worshipping or not, He is more than worthy of all the praise I could ever give Him.
Now, all of these topics are pretty disconnected in a sense of I’ve been learning each of these things pretty separately. However, as I was sitting on the couch one night bored out of my mind but everyone else seemed to be busy, I walked over to the book shelf, grabbed a random book off the shelf and went to go sit down again in hopes of reading the book I grabbed. I didn’t. Instead, I sat there staring off into space for another 20 minutes before people finally finished what they were doing and I started to have conversations with them. A few minutes before heading to bed, I grabbed the book off the seat next to me and mindlessly flipped through it to find 3 little notes bookmarked in it from whoever the past reader was. And you’ll NEVER guess what was on each of those bookmarks.
(the middle note has Psalm 9:11 written: “Sing praises to the Lord, who sits enthroned in Zion!Tell among the people his deeds.”)
My jaw dropped as I read those notes. LIKE COME ON, GOD! REALLY? What are the odds the 3 things I’ve been going through and learning about just appear like that in a random book I grabbed off the shelf because I was bored? Like no way was that not God!
God DOES speak to you, especially if He wants you to hear something. As the beautiful and wise Kate Goeler told me, “If God wants you to hear something, He’s going to make sure you hear it.”
Thanks for reading you guys! I love youuuuuuu!
Quincy
