Good question. I’ve known for a long time that I’ve wanted to do a year of missions work, but for what seems like forever I was waiting for “the call” to actually do it. You know, a booming voice from heaven saying, “BEHOLD, I have called you to (insert country here), GO!” Now of course, that never actually happened, and so for awhile I was kind of in a stale mate situation, not wanting to do ANYTHING unless God specifically instructed me to do it. And in a way that’s a “positive” mindset as in its better than purposefully NOT doing anything God instructs of me, but it reminds me of one of Jesus’ parable found in Matthew 25:14.
““Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.”
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A key word in this passage is ENTRUSTED. The servants were entrusted with an amount that correlated with their ability, but weren’t necessarily told how to invest their master’s money. Later on in the passage, when the master returns it says:
“‘Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’”
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Looking back, I had the same mentality as this servant. I was afraid that if I decided to go on Missions and God had secretly wanted me to do something else he would just say, “wrong choice bud! Guess you‘re on your own from now on.”
And I want to be clear, this mindset didn’t only show itself with my decision to go on this Race. Now that I’m graduated, I’ve got a lot of big decisions to make regarding my long term future and need the Lord’s guidance more than ever, but the idea that when I’m not hearing from him I’ve entered into some kind of Monty Hall game show, where I have to guess the right door so that I still have God supporting me is WRONG and dangerous. I see now how it can keep me stuck in the mud, and it is a terrible misrepresentation of God’s love for us. I don’t want to live thinking that way, and Jesus doesn’t want me or anyone else to either.
So maybe I didn’t audibly hear God tell me to go on this Journey, but I have a deep desire to go;
to explore God’s creation, to help those in need, to spread the Gospel of Christ, to develop my faith, and most of all to know God more intimately. And to me, the desire He’s placed in my heart is calling enough.
I already know there’s a lot more to come during these 9 months, more than I can see now, and I am PUMPED to find out what it is. So in a way no, I’m not really ready for this, but I’m eager to be thoroughly challenged and spiritually stretched next year.
Thanks for reading my very long post, and until my next I bid you adieu!
– NP
