As we are nearing the end of this season of life in Asia, the Lord has been gently convicting my heart. I am so eager to be home with my family and friends, but will be so sad to leave these beautiful, peaceful mountains and my new friends at this orphanage. The girls are in school right now, and on the days we don’t teach English in the school, there isn’t a whole lot of work to be done. Because of the lack of things to do, I sometimes let my will and my mind get lazy. I had a mindset of “there’s not that many days left, it doesn’t really matter what I do, I just want to be home”.
The Lord started to change my attitude first through a phone call with my dad where he repeatedly reminded me to “finish strong”. I knew I needed to finish strong and I thought I was doing just fine, but realized I was letting the hard days get to me. I was allowing long, hard days to tell me I could finish mediocrely and that would be sufficient.
After the phone call with my dad the Lord brought the verse from Hebrews 12 to my mind – “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which is easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking into Jesus, the author and perfect of our faith…”
He reminded me several different things through this verse.
first – that every last second here in Thailand does matter, God is concerned with every second of every day of my life because I am His child. Because I am His child, He called me close to Him, prepares and nurtures my heart to be sent out as a vessel for His love. He ordained this trip to be the exact amount of days that it is because He has a plan for each of these days, and He is faithful to sustain me through the good days and the hard days.
second- when we gave our lives to Jesus and He became Lord of our hearts, we are compelled to live a life of ministry in whatever we are doing. Our life should reflect and represent Christ in all of our actions. We are vessels of His love wherever we go, be that the grocery store, university, or across the world. We are called to be Christ like in all things and all circumstances. Choosing joy and choosing to fight the good fight of faith. But this isn’t something the Lord just expects us to do on our own because he knows we are unable. We can only reflect Christ because of Holy Spirit inside of us. In Jesus’ own words he said “My grace is sufficient for you, My strength is made perfect in weakness” (1 Corinthians 12:9). In our weakness and inability, His glory and power shines through. Because we are not capable of doing good on our own, when He empowers us by His spirit, He receives the glory, as it should be.
third- our entire life is a race until we stand before the Lord and He says “well done they good and faithful servant”. In this race of life we have different seasons and different smaller races. We are called to finish each race/season with strength and faithfulness to the Lord. Strength that He provides for us “the Joy of the Lord is my strength”(Nehemiah8:10) , again He provides exactly what we need. He ordains each season to be exactly how long He wants it. His timing is perfect. His plan for each day is perfect. He goes before us and sets the path before us, before we even walk through a season, He has prepared the way. This has brought me so much comfort and peace.
fourth- it is our duty as image bearers of Christ to live a life pleasing to Him and and life that brings glory to only Him, not ourselves. We are also responsible for bearing His love, but again aren’t expected to do this through our own strength. God knows we aren’t capable and He doesn’t ask us to do things we aren’t capable of doing, or things He won’t sustain us for. He always provides what He asks of us. He asks us to love others so, He loved us first. We are then able to love because of our Fathers love in us. He gave us His Holy Spirit, alive and INSIDE OF US, so that we can serve Him, love Him, and love others and bring glory to Him. whoa! His perfect love fills every part of our being. It fills our heart, soul, mind, and strength and empowers us to love others which brings glory to Him- which is the whole reason He gave us life- for His glory!
I want to be held accountable for my faith and my actions. I want to live a life in obedience to my Savior. A life that brings glory to Him. I want to live my life as Paul describes in Ephesians 4 “..walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with long suffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace”.
I want to be called higher when I am not walking in alignment with my fathers will and design for my life.
A new race/season will begin as I arrive home and end this season in Asia. I want to finish this race strong and move into the next season ready to do whatever the Lord has prepared for me. He is also teaching me to be content in every season He has me in. I do not want to wish away my time with my Thai friends, because I am longing for home. I want to enjoy each season fully. I can be content in each season because I know His timing for each season is perfect. I can trust that He will sustain me through every second here in Thailand and every second when I go home. But I also know it won’t always be easy. He doesn’t call us to do easy things, and my life for the passed three months most definitely has not been easy. but I know that He will provide and sustain me for whatever He asks of me.
Through His loving-kindness He convicted me of my complacent attitude and has brought me so much joy and peace in trusting his perfect plan for each day of my life. I started to tear up at worship the other night, I was holding two of my friends hands, chai, and pat, they are in middle school and are so precious and so sweet. We were praying and holding hands and singing worship songs to the Lord and my heart was filled with gratitude that I get to be here with them, befriend them and look forward to worshipping with them for eternity. I am so grateful to the Lord for opening my eyes to see that each day does matter and each day holds something new for me. Each day is a new opportunity to love and be loved.
Thank you for reading this, I am humbled to share about the faithfulness the Lord has shown to me. Thank you all for your prayers. See you soon America! (11 days!)
with love, Marianna
