Yoooooo! I’m sooo excited to share what the Lord has done by me sharing my testimony.
Everything leading up to this moment of me sharing my testimony with the squad was extremely exhausting if I’m being honest. The enemy attacked so hard…so quick…and although I was able to run and meet with Jesus, it still brought battles through my mind – spiritually and emotionally.
I’m going to be very honest and transparent about this. I’ve always wished God had written my story differently. Whenever sharing, I used to hate the words that came out of my mouth – the things I did, the things that were done to me, everything. I didn’t like sharing the deepest parts of my life with people because of past judgement and condemnation I’d receive from them. I also struggled with trust issues. Opening up was something I was good at not doing.
Holy Spirit has been screaming the word REDEMPTION at me ever since we got here. What does that mean? What does that look like? I am redeemed by the Redeemer. All of my past is restored and the records of all of the sins I carried are gone. I’m restored because of Him and what He did through His Son, Jesus. I’m able to walk a new life because of the strength, love, and grace He has ushered unto me.
As I had mentioned before, sharing my story left me so fearful. It’s been a ride, lemme tell ya, of Jesus helping me overcome all the fears, doubts, and insecurities that the enemy or myself would tell me. And these things were very real, very quick to come up, very easy to listen to.
The Lord has been telling me it’s okay to tell HIS story. It’s okay to feel the way I feel because He will meet me where I’m at. He’ll provide safety, boldness, courage, and everything I need, especially in those moments. And even though I still get choked up about sharing it, He has showered me with so much peace.
In the song, “Jesus I Come” by Elevation Worship it says, “I will rise, STAND REDEEMED. Heaven open over me. To Your name, eternally, endless glory I will praise.” And in another line it says, “thank You, Jesus, just as I am, I come. Hallelujah, oh what amazing love.” Wow.
I’ve really felt and seen the Lord calling me higher, especially through leadership, and I don’t mean that to highlight myself or anything, but my intentions are to just simply share how God is using me here. It’s weird to talk about myself in that way…but I strongly felt Him telling me to share this with you as well.
The night I shared my testimony, Holy Spirit made me LEAD communion…never have I ever done this before, especially with a large group. I remember we were at the grocery getting snacks and all that good stuff, but I was prompted to get grape juice and goldfish crackers. We used what we had. I was so nervous, yet I was so ready to lead alongside Jesus. You know when Holy Spirit just starts stirring in your heart and then it pounds like crazy? Yeah. I felt that.
So when I was done sharing, I opened up to Mark 14:22-26 which says, “as they were eating, Jesus took some bread and blessed it. Then He broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, ‘take it, for this is My body.’ And He took a cup of wine and gave thanks to God for it. He gave it to them, and they all drank from it. And He said to them, ‘this is My blood, which confirms the covenant between God and His people. It is poured out as a sacrifice for many. I tell you the truth, I will not drink wine again until the day I drink it new in the Kingdom of God.’ Then they sang a hymn and went out to the Mount of Olives.”
Jesus and His disciples were in the upper room taking their last supper. What was highlighted to me the most about this passage was the last verse. It stood out to me because it literally says that they sang. After following Jesus’ example of how to lead communion (through prayer and blessing His body and bread to God), I played the song “Communion” by Maverick City Music. Led the team into prayer again afterwards and I felt Holy Spirit MOOOOOVE so much. It was such an honor. Jesus floooooooooded my soul and entire well-being.
That whole day, I was just so overwhelmed with peace. A friend had prayed over me the day prior and suggested that I don’t think about it until I share, even though it was hard not to think about it, but it helped a lot and I was able to go throughout the day in a peaceful state of mind.
There’s definitely still a lot more that I have to learn and walk through with Jesus. This trip has been such a positive impact on my adventures with the Lord. It has brought so much light and peace and many, many steps of faith out of my uncomfortability. There’s nothing I can say or do on my own strength that’ll get me anywhere. It’s God’s strength running through my veins and His assurance that I am His child and that I am capable of doing whatever pleases Him – that the capacity of glorifying Him is always open.
Thank you, my dear friends, for reading and hearing what was put so heavily on my heart. Until next week!
