I never imagined that I would be sharing this blog… but here I am at 1:30am, wide awake. Instead of writing a whole new blog, I just wanted to share a journal entry from March 15, 2020:
“I don’t know what day it is, what the date is, or anything else in between. My heart is broken and shattered. The 6 weeks we had left in Guatemala quickly turned into 26 hours. Tomorrow we are leaving a country that so many of us have quickly fallen in love with. So many of us had such high hopes for what the Lord has planned for us here in Guatemala only for those hopes and expectations to be crushed by the words, “This isn’t the news we wanted.. We’re being sent home.” Hearing these words only hours after arriving at our final ministry location and only hours after unpacking for the final time hurts. Although it wasn’t our choice to come home, I can’t help but feel like I have disappointed the people of Guatemala, my supporters back home, my team, and God. It’s a thought that I shouldn’t have, but it’s a thought that’s here and fully alive. The rest of my time here in Guatemala and back in Atlanta with my team with be nothing but me pouring my EVERYTHING into my team and those I will encounter. I don’t know why this is happening and even though everu part of my heart is hurting, I know that the Lord will not leave me disappointed with what’s next – that is the one thing He has been teaching me and reminding me… that He never has and never will lead me somewhere only to leave me disappoined.”
If you haven’t seen my posts by now or if you couldn’t tell, I’m back in the States along with every other squad and team out on the field. This is not the kind of update that I wanted to share, but it’s reality… a reality that I’m having a very hard time with. I’m coming home to nothing, and I don’t know how to comprehend that. I imagined coming home and seeing everyone at church on Sunday, at dinner one night during the week, coffee one early morning, or at a youth group some random night… but I can’t do any of that. All of us racers are hacing a hard time with everything that has been thrown at us in such a short amonut of time, so please keep all of us in your prayers as we take the time to process it all.
Us going home early has been the Lord’s plan from day 1, so I am putting all of my faith and trust into Him and His plan as well as trying to find the positive side of all of this.
Thank you to every single person that has loved me, prayed for me, and supported me – I wouldn’t have made it this far without you. I will see you all soon.
Love, Kenzie
