It’s been nearly 2 MONTHS since I arrived back in Nebraska. WOW! I just wanted to update y’all a bit on life, as well as give you some encouragement, because a LOT has happened in two months.
Originally, I planned on joining my friend Matthew in St. Louis to do ministry there. But the Lord stopped me in my tracks and basically told me to stay put. He opened my eyes to the need right here in Henderson. While it was difficult at the time, I’m now seeing the “why”. The Lord has shown up in every way, he’s provided an apartment for me here in Henderson, a job at the nursing home in aurora, and already so many ministry opportunities, from investing in foster children to investing in high schoolers, it’s been truly amazing! I’m excited for what the future holds.
Coming back to the U.S. in the midst of a quarantine was a huge blessing, and now that it’s lifting up, it can be really easy for us to fall back into the pattern of business. Letting life’s troubles and obligations overwhelm us and our time with the Lord. But I want to encourage you to HOLD TIGHT to your time with the Lord. To the silence and solitude we’ve been in these past few months.
One spiritual truth that has overwhelmed me these past few weeks in the fact that we are at WAR. Not with man, but with the enemy. While as christians we are filled with the Holy Spirit, and no evil spirit can overtake us, evil spirits can still tempt us. Satan can get in our head, bring us lies, anxiety, depression, and what comes close to home for me… doubt. Our first week in Colombia, I began to feel this overwhelming sense of fear that I was not saved. For a week I let this fear get into my head, as well as affect my body, emotions, and everything I did. I just couldn’t shake this feeling. I couldn’t focus. It controlled me. But January 30, 2020, this all changed. God showed up and broke down walls. We finished team time on the roof for the evening. I was really struggling, almost at the point of tears. So overwhelmed with a kind of fear I have NEVER felt before. That’s when my dear friend AnnaBeth came up to me. She said that she felt the Lord wanting to tell me that barriers were going to be broken. Walls were going to come down. New life was going to begin. Thats when I lost it. Crying in her arms I shared how scared I was. How I felt that I wasn’t saved. I was consumed with the lie that I was headed for hell. That’s a kind of fear I NEVER want to experience again. Wondering how I could be ministering to the people in Colombia if I wasn’t even saved myself.
I figured when I opened up about my fear, she’d say a quick prayer with me and we’d all head to bed. But what I’m about to tell you is the TRUE BEAUTY of the body of Christ. AnnaBeth grabbed me, held me in her arms, while she called over the rest of the team. Her words were, “Katrina, you’ve been under spiritual attack, and it’s time to pray”. What was once a 1 vs. 1 battle between me and the enemy, now turned into a battle between the enemy and 17 people on fire for Christ! And thats a battle he just couldn’t win. That evening I was prayed over like never before. Kneeling on the ground I wept. Not cried but truly WEPT like I never have before. At times I literally cried out into the sky, “Lord! I want to believe in you and I want to feel you presence”. For FOUR hours, my team surrounded me, interceding for me in prayer when I didn’t have the words to say. Praying in the name of Jesus Christ for the enemy to flee. My dear friends covered me in prayer well into the night. Finally, I felt a heaviness in my chest release. I knew at that moment the Lord had won. Our God is STRONG, and always has the victory. From that night on, God’s changed me. My faith went from a head knowledge to a heart knowledge. And I was shown what it looks like to cover our brothers and sisters in Christ in prayer. To intercede on behalf of them when they don’t have the words to say.
This experience also taught me the power of speaking our struggles out loud to other believers. Because we may be under a spiritual attack in which we haven’t even realized. And that’s how the enemy gets us. When our worries are in the dark. When our shame is left unnoticed and untold. If this goes unspoken we will be devoured by our own minds. BUT, when shared with believers, it becomes a much larger battle, and we no longer have to bear the burden alone.
One strategy I am slowly learning in fighting the lies, is the art of PREPARING ourselves for spiritual warfare to come. Spending time with our father, in his Word, declaring truth over ourselves. When we are constantly aware of our thoughts, satan’s attempts to attack us will not go unnoticed. Instead, we can stop them at the root.
fear is from the enemy
focusing on fear empowers it
instead, speak it out, and the enemy will be devoured
in the midst of this quarantine, I have learned how to rest, sabbath, and just spend time with my father. And I want to encourage you to do the same. As society starts up again, and tells us we need to jump on board so we don’t get left behind, I want to encourage you to step back. Slow down. Don’t let the pressures of this world get in the way of silence and solitude with our Lord! Use this time with Him to PREPARE yourself, for the present and for the unknown future. So that when spiritual warfare comes, you are already on your guard, standing firm with the armor of God. And don’t be afraid to speak things to others, to speak them into existence. Because this is the first step to overcoming strongholds, walls, spiritual attacks, and anything that comes our way. Community is a powerful thing. And while I didn’t necessarily enjoy this attack, I’m thankful the Lord allowed me to go through this, so I could EXPERIENCE firsthand His power and the POWER of His church!
AND if you are struggling with any sort of spiritual warfare, doubt, fear, anything at all, speak it out! I’m always here, as well as so many other believers, ready to listen, pray, and fight for you.
Love and Hugs, Katrina 🙂
