I love art.
To be able to allow myself the space to feel something deeper than words without using them, seems to me the most gentle way of connecting my head and my heart while also communicating back to my Father how much I love him. I have found that our creator loves watching us create in an attempt to tell him we love him more than he loves us. Like a little kid telling his mom he loves her thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.
I have learned a lot about my relationship with God through art. I have come to realize how for so long, anything I made that was not what I intended it to be became a sort of insult to my pride. If one mistake was found, or one wrong stroke was painted, I threw it away. What a funny thing! Every single day, I miss the chance to love somebody as well as I could. Either because I try loving them how I prefer to be loved, or because I get so caught up in trying to be God for them that they end up being pushed further from him.
What I, in the past four days that I’ve been in Gainesville Georgia, have been learning, is that while we remain here in our sojourn on earth our relationship with the Father can never be perfect. Like our art, we do not have the capability to convey exactly what we intend to him, or to the people around us we are called to love. But what I have found is that a relationship with Love himself is the only way to satisfy the need we have for him which hums deep within our souls.
My delight is no longer in communicating perfectly. It is in knowing that my Father never once asked me to.
An update: I am still alive. On the first night, I ordered a new tent because I totally misjudged my need for space (oops). I also broke my teammate Cole’s tent pole. He wasn’t even mad (all glory be to God!)!. I am getting to know these beautiful brothers of mine, and I am becoming a little bit more like my Papa every single day.
Thank you for reading my blog. I love you.
-Elijah
