Come and invade my heart. Come and meet us. Help me carry my cross for those around me
Training camp starts in three days!!! I’m beyond excited and a little nervous but overall going into it with an open heart and a peace rooted in Jesus. I’ve realized when God is calling us to do something big in our lives there will always be push back. Whether it be anxiety, thoughts of qualification or worry, or real events that try to stop us. I’ve had to remind myself of again, where I find my identity. Is it in the negative thoughts? Is it in my defeat and sin? Is it in my past and the world outside my window? Jesus took my place on the cross for me to be free of such chains. When I find my identity in Jesus alone, I see myself as I truly am. I am loved, I am being made complete by the holy spirit, I am a vessel and a lover in complete surrender to a God who is full of love and wisdom. A God full of peace and purpose and one that desires a relationship so intimate it doesn’t make sense. I know God has personally brought me through many seasons of shame and guilt to strengthen my heart and grow my love for others going through the same thing. When I tried to carry my own weight, it was hard to get out of bed in the morning. It was hard to hold a conversation and even more so to look the other person in the eye. Shame is a dangerous enterprise and it can come in many forms. It’s the voices in our heads telling us we aren’t good enough, it’s the anxiety, it’s the lack of surrender and desperation to cling to something tangible when all life around us is changing and in flux. Well I know somebody who doesn’t change. I know a Savior who has been known to break off any chains we carry, not just in the past, but currently. The good news is that God is always at work, making a way, fighting for us. When we open the doors of His love into our life, we are free of any chain, any guilt, any shame, and we have somebody who is fighting with us right beside us.
-Carrying our Cross-
I know for many of us on my squad, we’ve been facing trials of many different multitudes before training camp. Luckily, we all know and believe that God’s power is unmatched, and through prayer and focus no force can knock us off this calling. I hope throughout the experience we will continue to build deep relationships build on trust and surrender with God in the center of them. It is such a blessing having the opportunity to meet my squad and my team members who I’ll be doing life with on the mission field for almost a year. What is so special about this is that we have the unique opportunity to go so deep with each other, to create lasting bonds and sharpen each other in ways others in our lives can’t. I see so much self-induced pain and isolation occurring even in the church body and in the world. Our human hearts desire to be seen, to be heard, and to be pure. It is a blessing that we have the awareness of our Father, of our freedom, and our new identity found in Christ. However for many in the world this reality is not seen, not experienced, and because of this there is widespread suffering and evil at work. The message of the Gospel is one of liberation. True liberation. The Gospel destroys barriers between people, unleashing love and joy that has longed to be loosed. That’s why the World Race excites me so much. I get to have the opportunity to lay down my life and carry my cross across the world with the one hope that I simply get to love on people, and in some miracle reflect Jesus to them. However another conviction was laid upon my heart this week. Am I praying that God will use me not only for my growth, but for the broken world? Yes, I have been facing troubles, fighting sin, and dealing with battles of my own, but I walk around in the confidence that Jesus alone has provided me. A love I can truly rely on and know is never fleeting or running out of strength. However so many people even in my own community and circle are battling different things, to different extremes. Jesus’s heart was directed at the poorest, the weariest, and the most outcast of the society at large. I believe still to this day it is a revolutionary thing to lay down our comfort, security, and own personal desires for those below us. Those in the society who are battling alone, believing they are truly outcasted, unaccepted, and broken. WE as Christians are called to put our desire aside carry our own cross. This means no matter who, no matter what situation, I am called to carry the burdens and the pain of the person next to me. When we do so God can work through this because we are actively living out our faith! The enemy wants us to feel isolated, and for many living without Jesus, even me personally before coming back to my faith, was a true reality I was living with. I believe if we really lived out the calling of Jesus the view of the church and the role of the church in the West would greatly shift to an isolated negative view, to an essential source of love and joy that truly resembles the body of Christ. So if you are broken, if you are feeling isolated, and you don’t even know who this Christ guy is, reach out. Surrender every doubt and fear your carrying to a God who simply wants to meet you where you are and love you.
I have also begun to question what God is leading me to practically with the World Race. What is this trip and calling setting me up for in the future? I believe deeply I am being called to do something very intentionally through missions one day, however I am not sure what. I really feel called to continue college and get my degree after I return. I’ll be praying that God places clarity and a deep sense of calling upon my heart through the next 12 months. I want to use my privilege and my opportunity to higher education along with the Holy spirit to reach the third world in a way of healing. I have had such a great childhood, a childhood full of love and self-discovery and safety. For many this reality has been robbed from them. I think God is calling me to use my talents and my passion to save a life, even if it’s just one.
I just want to say thank you again for all the support and encouragement. If you are reading this, I love you. Keep my in your heart and prayers. Be praying for my team, and my World Race family. I need you; I am grateful for you; you are such a big part of this. I’m with you, and I’m eternally in love with you. Take care and God bless you.
– Brent
There was another in the fire
Standing next to me
There was another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
Of how I’ve been set free
There is a cross that bears the burden
Where another died for me
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