(I know you are probably sick of hearing about coronavirus but don’t worry this is mostly the effect of it on my return)
So you may have noticed that I am back in the states and I’ve been here for a while now. Well, my trip to Cambodia and Thailand was cut short because of this crazy pandemic we are all dealing with. In the simplest of terms, Adventure in Missions didn’t want us to get stuck in any foreign country for an indefinite time so they pulled all the international teams out, a wise decision as Thailand closed its borders only a few weeks after our departure. We got a flight out of Thailand two days after getting the news and our final debrief in Atlanta was cancelled so we’d all get to our homes as soon as possible. March 18, I arrived home and started my two weeks of quarantine and I was able to debrief during that time with my friend, Ginny. A week and a half after my quarantine ended, my family moved to Wisconsin. Yeah, that was like a Pandora’s box of hard emotions to deal with and process and I am still working on that one. I’ve been here for about a month now and moved into my new house for a week. And ladies and gentlemen, that is the recap of the last couple months. And my life? Is kinda crazy.
March 15, I think, I woke up to one of my squadmates reading an email telling us we were going home. It felt like a dream in the moment and, honestly, didn’t begin to feel like reality until my squad started saying our goodbyes at the airport in Atlanta. As difficult as that was, it didn’t compare to being alone for two weeks in quarantine after arriving home. I had gone from being surrounded by these women every minute of every day to having barely any in-person contact with anyone. I swear, I was holed up in my room for three days without talking to any of my family. I was so confused why I came home. I felt that God had made it clear we were going to do some amazing ministry the next month and grow so much closer as a squad and then it was all gone? My brain just didn’t understand and I started pushing away from God, blaming him for my confusion. I didn’t stop reading my Bible or listening to worship music or praying, I just stopped being transparent with him and allowing what I read to change me. I knew how much I needed him so I didn’t stop putting in effort but I was upset so I kept walls up. Once quarantine ended I was able to set up time with a few of my close friends to say goodbye and I even got a surprise visit from my best friend and got a send off from my other best friends and then we drove all the way up to Wisconsin from Florida.
The first couple weeks in Wisconsin, I got to see some extended family and got plenty (way too much) time alone. I had a couple nights where I brought my honest anger to the Lord and he was able to help me through it. I didn’t know why I had been keeping it from him if he was so understanding and willing to sit with me. I started to be more vulnerable with him and we’re working still. The day my family moved into our new house, we had at least 8 guys from my dad’s church, Riverwood, come and help us move everything inside. It was a super exhausting day but we got all, two truckloads, of our belongings unloaded and we slept really well that night. The past few days have been unpacking and starting my new job at Culver’s, a Wisconsin restaurant famous for fresh custard and Butter Burgers that none of my friends know about because they’re Floridian. I’ve been planning more for going to college this fall and I’ve been placed in my American Sign Language and first year classes.
Sorry this blog took me two months to write, a lot has been going on but I definitely had enough free time to get it done earlier. This was a hard one to write. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement and keep the Khmer people in your prayers, there is so much thirst for God’s truth there. Let me know if you have any questions that I can answer or if you want to talk about my trip, I love telling stories. God bless you all, thank you!
