These past few weeks have been s t r e s s f u l!
Trying to figure out how I’m going to afford things, struggling to balance college and work, and the overwhelming thoughts of what college to transfer to! 2-4 more years of college? Sounds tiring already. But then there has been such beauty in the past few weeks as well.
I have been volunteering at a Christian after school program on Monday’s and though I have only known the kids for more than a month, they ACTUALLY like me! They (about 14 boys and 2 girls) race to hug me and tease me about cooties. There’s one little boy, in 2nd grade, who has a serious expression the whole time and is unintentionally hilarious, I love it. There have been special friendships that have been blossoming. Then just this past week a gentleman came into work and donated money to my mission trip! A trip he didn’t even know I was going on yet, but he said he felt God urging him to donate! He just opened his wallet and plopped the money in my hands!
I’ve realized that I have such a financially insecure mindset. Growing up, it was us constantly struggling to pay the bills and that has seeped its ways into my brain to think that everything is going to be a struggle. Then Jesus just comes along and wrecks me. This whole season has been this stream of me worrying and crying over things that I don’t have much control in, and hearing Jesus say to me he has me and loves me. I’m constantly being reminded and renewed in that truth. I don’t think I can ever fully comprehend how much he loves us. Shifting mindsets that you’ve had for so long is difficult… but worth it.
