Four and a half years ago I remember writing a Facebook post very similar to the blog I’m writing now.
Four and a half years ago I said goodbye to my home of 6 years, Abilene, TX.
I remember what I wrote. I remember that I thanked Abilene for all it had done. And I remember that I had a warning and a promise for Monroe, LA: “I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into, Monroe, because I love, serve, and lead pretty fiercely.”
I did exactly what I set out to do here.
I loved this town. I loved this community. I loved these people. I served them with my whole being. And I even led them when I was called to do so. And somewhere along the way I even got a college degree.
I’m proud of what I accomplished here.
It’s hard to believe the time to say goodbye has come.
I always knew my time would be limited. I always knew that this goodbye would come. But I was wrong about a lot of things. The World Race wasn’t on my radar four and a half years ago. Neither was saying goodbye to my mom.
I didn’t know how much I would have to thank Monroe for. I couldn’t imagine the gifts and blessings it gave me. My life in Abilene was the greatest gift I ever could have asked for. I never knew Monroe could be the same kind of gift.
As I sit here writing, names and faces and experiences and places and memories of all sorts are flooding through my mind. Goodbyes have a way of making us reflect. And I’m sad to say goodbye. But I’m overjoyed by the fact that this is such a good goodbye. I am overjoyed by the fact that I am so deeply loved by the people of this community. I am overjoyed at the person I proved myself to be in my years here and the people God proved His children in Monroe to be as well.
I also know this won’t be my last goodbye. In a year I’ll be saying goodbye to a small community of fellow racers who will carry bits and pieces of me in their heart. And then after that who knows what the next goodbye will be.
Goodbyes are hard and yet so good when they are done right. Because the fact is God knows far more about what’s in store if I obey the simple command to follow His call into goodbye. My life has never been my own. I am blessed that God used me in my years in Monroe to pour love into the community, and reciprocally to be a vessel into which the community got to pour love. It strikes me so clearly that because of following God’s command to love the people in my life everywhere I have been, I am now loved by people all over the world who I have had to say goodbye to. But if nobody said goodbye, my love would never have spread so far and wide.
I feel strongly that God is calling me into a lifetime of goodbyes, even though I don’t fully know what that means. And I’m sure any ideas I try to formulate will quickly be replaced with something I can barely imagine.
I don’t like to say goodbye, but I do like to love people. And I know that sometimes goodbye is necessary for there to be love. I know that if I never said goodbye to Midland there would never have been Abilene, and if I never said goodbye to Abilene there would never have been Monroe, and if I never said goodbye to Monroe I would never be able to experience the next stage of love God wants to bring into my life.
Of course it’s not that simple. It’s not about goodbye. It’s about obedience, willingness, and openness. For me, that’s an obedience to saying goodbye.
But what about you? What do you need to do in order to welcome God’s next stage of love into your life? Do you need to say goodbye to something? Or hello? Or to make a choice? Or do a thousand other things that God might be calling His beloved child to do? I want you to know God’s love in its fullness. I want you to embrace it, whatever it looks like for you.
And Monroe, I want you to know how much I have loved you and how much I have been loved by you. Thank you for a wonderful four and a half years. I would love to return here if I am ever called by God. Goodbye doesn’t have to be forever, but it does have to be for now. And you will always be in my heart.
